Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep

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Jackass Forever 7/10

The (possible) final entry of the Jackass film franchise is the weakest but is still entertainingly silly with its stunts that often push the limits of its R rating. There are more hits than misses but it ultimately succeeds in doing exactly what it was designed to do: shock while also making you laugh. It also has more heart and protagonists that you care about than most Hollywood comedies today. It makes me want to revisit the other movies now.

[Buscemi2]

Flee 9/10

I was not expecting this one to be this good. Normally, I am skeptical of documentaries that are heavy on re-enactments (though I made an exception on the similar in style Waltz with Bashir) but this story presented here is so fascinating and so different compared to other stories about war in the Middle East that you can't help but be engrossed in its action. Today's Hollywood cannot tell a refugee story this well.

It's now on Hulu so if you missed it during its theatrical run, give it a shot. It might not win the Oscars it's up for but it deserves one more than some of the other things nominated.

[Buscemi2]

The Cursed 3/10

What starts as a World War I-set horror becomes an attempt a more political version of The Wolf Man before devolving into a bad throwback to lame 2000's straight-to-DVD horror that desperately wants to be a cash-in on A24's style of folk horror. The film makes little sense and features some really poor CGI and some of the worst editing in recent history. Kelly Reilly gets wasted again while Boyd Holbrook is not very believable as an Englishman.

Had the film made any attempt to rise above its origins as a cash-in on better and more ambitious fare, it might have been more than mediocre. But instead, we get one of the most forgettable horror films in recent memory.

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The Worst Person In The World

I loved this, and did not expect it to be as emotional as it was. The performances are all phenomenal, especially from Renate Reinsve and Anders Dainelson Lie (who is great playing a character I still have kind of mixed feelings on). The score and cinematography (the scene towards the end of Chapter 5 where time freezes as Julie runs to Eivind!), are great as well. The only issues I have with the film relate to its script - I feel like there needed to be more time in between the interview and Julie learning Askel is dying.

Additionally, I still don't understand what the metaphor of the four colors was. I assume it was meant to represent the four years the film takes place over? I feel like there's not devolopment of that at all in between the title cards and the last scene between Julie and Askel.

Overall, though, I still loved it, and I hope it wins Best Original Screenplay and Best Foreign Film (though I think it should be up for Best Picture, Score, Cinematography, and all of the Acting awards).

9 out of 10

I do have to wonder how audiences are precieving the film. The marketing has basically portrayed it as something along the lines of Judd Apatow, but it really isn't. No one said anything coming out of the screening, and there weren't many laughs throughout.

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HOW ABOUT A SOLID MONTH AND A HALF'S WORTH OF NEW MOVIE TAKES FOLKS?

Scream 8.5/10:
Sincerely don't think it's possible to make a horror "legacy sequel" that's much better than this. It nails the balance between paying homage to and subverting the original films, the returning characters are worked into the story in a very clever way that organically provides insight on where they are now while also clearly establishing them as supporting pieces in the excellent new cast's showdown with Ghostface and the primary satirical target of this particular entry couldn't be more ideal for the current horror climate, and it's handled in a fashion that feels completely true to how Wes Craven would've approached it. Beyond curious and excited to see where the Radio Silence crew take this franchise next.

Jackass Forever 9/10:
An incredible theater experience and one of the funniest movies I've had the pleasure of watching in the past 5-10 years. Johnny Knoxville and co. are comedic icons as far as I'm concerned, and it's been great to see the beauty of their extreme brand of slapstick comedy so widely celebrated over the past few weeks.

The Worst Person in the World 7.5/10:
A bit conflicted about this one. There's a raw honesty in its depiction of an Oslo-based woman in her early 30's that is struggling to commit in her career or love life that is really effective, and the performances are great all around, but the second half of the film outside of the heartbreaking penultimate chapter is less compelling, insightful and focused than the first.

Moonfall 2/10:
See Boosh, I do actually hate some movies! Roland Emmerich seems to have lost whatever feel he had for making electric stupidity spectacles. The explanation as to why the moon has been knocked out of orbit is relentlessly batshit crazy, but the execution is so sterile and joyless that it reduces limitless insanity to the most boring shit imaginable.

I Want You Back 7.5/10:
As a streaming romantic comedy that was purposely released at a time where it could capitalize on the boom the genre inevitably receives on and around Valentine's Day, I Want You Back gets the job done. It's a pleasant, undemanding watch that is relatively funny, naturally sweet without being too corny and boasts a great lead pairing in Charlie Day and Jenny Slate who skillfully navigate both sides of the genre coin. Unflashy, competent romcoms could become a nice little tradition during this not overly riveting portion of the release calendar, so hopefully some respectable writers/directors and appealing actors with comedic chops and solid chemistry can come through and make that happen.

KIMI 7.5/10:
Despite boasting a pretty silly final act that isn't really tonally in line with what comes before it and some half-assed attempts to provide commentary on the invasive security practices of big tech companies, this energetic, paranoia-filled tale is easily Soderbergh's best work since Logan Lucky. Zoe Kravitz turns in a great performance as an agoraphobic tech worker who is forced to venture outside the walls of her Seattle apartment after she stumbles upon a violent crime on an audio stream she was tasked with reviewing and Soderbergh is able to effectively heighten the tension by deploying a pulsating score from Cliff Martinez and wobbly camerawork that mirrors the visible anxiety Kravitz's character is experiencing in these situations.

Uncharted 7/10:
Uncharted proves the following:
1.Tom Holland is a certified movie star in or outside of the Spider-Man suit.
2.Mark Wahlberg makes for a pretty good sarcastic, likeable asshole character.
3.Chung hoon-Chung is one of the best cinematographers working today.
4.Product placement can be hilarious when it's from a brand that you'd never expect to have the cash flow to buy their way into a $100+ million production.
5.Bringing Uncharted from PlayStation consoles to cinema screens confirms that it's a B-grade Indiana Jones for a generation of people who probably aren't familiar with the iconic adventure franchise.

Can't wait for another safe, competent Uncharted film in 2024 or 2025!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4/10:
A rushed, directionless mess that legitimately feels like it was produced on such a comically tight schedule that they couldn't even film the whole script. It does however get some points for its brutal gore (most of which is of the practical variety), completely absurd shocker of an ending and stunningly terrific cinematography that musters staggering, creative shots out of thin air every few minutes.

And here are some bonus scores for a handful of other recent 2021/22 watches that I don't feel like writing about at the moment:
The Fallout 7.5/10
Home Team 5/10
Flee 7.5/10
Antlers 6/10

[Buscemi2]

Jockey 8/10

Another movie better than what the Academy deems the best. Clifton Collins Jr. gives one of 2021's best performances as an aging jockey, broken down by his past injuries, attempting a comeback when he becomes the mentor to a young rider who claims to be his son. Playing much like a Western transported to modern-day Phoenix, Collins carries this unpretentious drama that avoids false sentimentality in favor of good storytelling that involves you. The studios could learn a thing or two from this one.

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Oscar nominated animated shorts recap.

Robin Robin 8/10

Aardman's latest entry is a Christmas special about a bird raised by mice who after a search for food goes wrong, meets a magpie (voiced by Richard E. Grant) obsessed with shiny things and begins to discover who she really is as they plan their own heists. This is something that could have easily felt hollow like other recent Christmas specials but it manages to work as Aardman once again brings its sense of humor to the proceedings while having enough cute without overloading it.

Boxballet 9/10

A boxer falls in love with a ballet dancer during the final days of the Soviet Union. Told with almost no dialogue, this might seem like it would be super serious but it turns out to a funny and well-made short that brings to mind the romantic comedies of the 80's. My favorite of the set but perhaps the most polarizing for obvious political reasons.

After a short intermission detailing the adult content of the last three that asked any children in the audience to leave if they wanted to, the shorts continue.

Affairs of the Art 6/10

Beautiful animation elevate this Jane Campion-styled comedy about a woman nearing her sixties lamenting on her past and deciding to do something about it by following her dream of becoming an artist. Very graphic and full of bizarre moments, the humor does downplay some of the moments that make you question the sanity of what exactly is going on with these characters.

Bestia 8/10

Returning to stop-motion, we go to Chile for another period tale about a lonely woman who lives with her German shepherd, living a solitary life with little to look forward to. Or is she? Possibly the darkest nominee in the category is quite some time, this short defines that "adults only" disclaimer and when you aren't recoiling in terror, you are wondering what's going to happen next. Don't be surprised to see someone adapt this one to feature-length.

The Windshield Wiper 4/10

The one dud in the group and unfortunately, the short that likely wins the Oscar. This one, filled with so many 2000's indie cliches that the list be as long as the short itself, is a series of vignettes that ask the question "what is love?" (by the way, I have no idea how the title relates to the story). We never gets any sense of the characters and nothing ever relates to anything else. It just exists. I did give it a 4 for the animation and the fact that it wasn't super long. Had it been, say, a half-hour, it would have been unbearable.

All in all, a better lineup than last year, when you saw glorified screensavers and bad design school exercises getting nominated. It's nice to see the nominees try again.

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The Batman

Loved it, for the most part. As I was saying in the Box Office thread, it's inspirations are a bit too obvious to the point of the movie being kind of predictable, and you can definitely feel the length. Paul Dano deserves an Oscar (or at least a nomination) for his role here - I think he was easily on par with Heath Ledger. Zoe Kravitz and an unrecognizable Colin Farrell are great too. Robert Pattinson is good as Batman, but I will (probably) always prefer Christian Bale's performance. The way the ending was handled was a little bit disjointed, in my opinion - I feel like the scene with the Riddler and the Joker should have been after the credits, and the last scene between Batman and Catwoman went on a bit long.

8 out of 10

[Buscemi2]

Oscar nominated live-action shorts recap.

On My Mind 8/10

A depressed man goes into a bar for a drink before paying the bartender a handsome tip to film him singing Always on My Mind to his wife. Despite an apathetic bar owner, he is determined to get the song to her. Very much in the mold of much modern Danish cinema, the film has some effective performances while sprinkling in some humor with the drama.

Please Hold 2/10

This year's Two Distant Strangers might be even worse that baffling choice of an Oscar winner. A man walking down the street is arrested by a police drone in the near-future for an unnamed crime that he never committed. But rather than focus on how police departments use racial profiling to arrest innocent people, this ends up being yet another rant about how technology is evil as he enters a for-profit prison controlled entirely around virtual assistants. And the general message only makes the nonsensical premise even more ridiculous. This nothing more than a rejected Black Mirror episode pretending to be political. And yet, it's probably likely to win solely for being the only American short nominated.

The Dress 8/10

A maid at a truck-stop motel has given up on love as others cannot long beyond the fact that she is a little person. But soon, she meets a trucker whom she believes views her as who she really is and begins to get out of her self-imposed shell before they go on a date. This short from Poland doesn't end how you'd expect it and has refreshing storytelling that is a welcome break from the previous short.

The Long Goodbye 8/10

Now we go to the star-powered entry, as this one stars and was co-written by Riz Ahmed and if Please Hold doesn't win, this one certainly will win the Oscar. Focusing on an Indian family living in London, the family is getting really for a wedding while a series of protests are going on in the city. But their time for celebration goes horribly wrong when an extremist group enters the neighborhood, seeking those who don't meet their narrow-viewed worldview. The film handles politics far better than Please Hold does and isn't designed to be vague and frustrating. It does exactly what it sets out to do.

Take and Run 9/10

The longest of the nominated shorts is also the best. A Swiss production set in Kyrgyzstan, this one focuses on a young girl who dreams of going to college and bettering herself by getting out of her small village. But while she is working at a bakery to save up for her move, she is kidnapped by three men and forced into an arranged marriage to a man she does not know. To make matters worse, the other women in the village support the marriage and refuse to help her leave while her own parents approve of the marriage despite her pleas. Soon, she finds that the only person that will help her leave is herself. This is a legitimately terrifying short that shows that in many places, some of the most inhumane practices of the past that we'd think have gone away are still alive and well. And this short is probably only scratching the surface. If I had an Oscar vote, this would be my pick.

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The Batman: 6/10

A film that bites off more than it can chew, as it dashes through themes to attempt to say something big but never quite nailing it due to its restlessness. At first it's an atmospheric detective story, and works quite well despite some occasional cheesy dialogue. But as it starts to become a movie about other issues, it tramples over what was previously achieved, often nullifying it. In many ways, this feels like a first cut in its unwieldy run-time and lack of focus - it goes from a story about a killer, to one about corruption, to one about familiar guilt and finding new family, to the topic of vengence and public inspiration. Some scenes are awfully directed (particularly the final climax, and the closing images), some are stunning.

The cast are all pretty solid although some struggle with the poor dialogue, and for a 3 hour movie the romance is poorly developed and unconvincing. Still, it was nice to be immersed in this world, and it did manage to find a stylistic identity of its own - it's probably the grimiest of the Batman films with moments of comic-book slickness.

[Buscemi2]

The Batman 3/10

Batman v. QAnon wasn't too great. Too long, too dark, and too full of holes and underdeveloped subplots, Robert Pattinson's first turn as Bruce Wayne is nowhere at the level of Keaton or Bale (or even Will Arnett) but it's at least better than Justice League. Much of the film consists of pitfalls of the modern blockbuster (overlength, ham-fisted attempts at trying to incorporate current events, bad makeup, miscastings aplenty, trying to make audiences forget about things that happened a few years earlier by redoing it again, etc.) and its twists and turns can be seen a mile away. Cut the Mafia subplot and there's a decent two-hour movie in here. But at three hours, it makes you just want to watch the much-superior Batman Returns again.

Also, I feel sorry for those who had to pay inflated prices for this. With Alamo Season Pass, I only paid a convenience fee of $1.79. Of course, I did get popcorn that was better than the movie.

[Buscemi2]

Umma 3/10

Sam Raimi the director and Sam Raimi the producer are unfortunately two different breeds. The latest film from his stable (recently rebranded from Ghost House to Raimi Productions) is another Americanized attempt at Asian horror that might have worked better as a short but in feature-length form, is bland, forgettable, and built around stereotypes and treating the audience like they are dumb. Sandra Oh deserves a better platform to be a lead while Dermot Mulroney could use a good indie director to relaunch his career. It wants to be something like A Tale of Two Sisters but feels more like a bad 2000's straight-to-DVD horror film Sony would have released every other week.

And that's more than most people will ever write about this latest Sony dump.

[Buscemi2]

The Guide 8/10

It took close to eight years for this to hit American screens but this war drama is a good, solid period piece about how even those who have been marginalized can fight back. In a way, the film is kind of like Life is Beautiful but in Ukraine rather than Italy and the story of a child and a blind man holding documents that could bring down the Stalinist regime makes for some entertaining, old school filmmaking. It also brings us into a time few outside of Ukraine are aware of. The film enlightens one on how the past should never be forgotten while also being engaging and fascinating in the process.

[Buscemi2]

The Outfit 3/10

In what feels like a bad community theatre production of Miller's Crossing, this lame mob drama is more interested in being vague and padding out its run time with obvious twists than telling a story. You care little about the characters and you're bound to spend more time waiting for something to happen. Mark Rylance phones it in while Zoey Deutch is hopelessly miscast as his assistant while the mobster characters are silly and feel more like they are from the 30's than the 1956 setting. The end result less like a movie and more like a contractual obligation that should have been dumped onto streaming, where everyone would have forgotten it after a week.

But you just know some people are going to stumble upon it and call it a hidden gem. It's not.

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A few recent ones


Fresh: 6/10
Diverting horror about a young woman who is sick of the dating circuit, only to meet a guy who finally has charm. Sadly, he's got a dark secret and his proposed trip to the countryside gets pretty sinister. I don't want to spoil it any more, but it's a fun film that's generally well directed and well performed by Daisy Edgar Jones (destined to be a star) and Sebastian Stan. There's not a huge amount of depth but a few tropes are subverted.

Paris, 13th District: 6/10
Audiard's latest is both brilliant and frustrating. Essentially 2 interrconnected stories about 2 women, a young sexually liberal woman seeking a flatmate, and a 30-something returning to university only to be mistaken for a famous camgirl, connected by a man. Shot in beautiful black and white, it's somewhat rambling but there are plenty of great moments and performances.

Compartment No 6: 7/10
Did I review this already? Surprisingly excellent drama about a woman who embarks ona train journey to find some ancient art, but we wonder if she really wants to see it or if she's doing so to please her girlfriend, who suddenly decides she can't join her. So our hero shares a train carraige with a crass miner, and what ensues is a light chalk-and-cheese routine that is charming, occasionally funny, and quite moving. A film that got ignored when it's way better than Drive My Car.