Freelance 2/10
This is the worst recent release that I've seen since that shitty oil rig movie! 108 minutes of my life that are gone forever. It's horribly directed and written, badly acted (I enjoy Cena in other stuff but he needs a decent script), there's zero chemistry, it's not even remotely funny, and it's so BORING. Towards the end I had to start looking at the wall because of how mind-numbing this was. Also, did she really ask him "are you okay?" while he was getting fucking strangled??? The only thing resembling a redeeming quality in this complete trashfire is that having bloopers in the end credits gave me a slight nostalgic feeling.
Champions 6.5/10
An overlong, predictable, and largely unoriginal sports comedy still provides enough heart, chuckles, and decent performances to make it a pleasant enough watch, even if it's by no means a standout amongst the genre.
I also rewatched Disney's Wish, let's just say that I was being quite generous the first time and my opinion on it is no longer positive.
Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Moderators: Buscemi, BarcaRulz, Geezer, W
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StarLord123
- Nick Naylor
- Posts: 383
- Joined: January 11th, 2018, 12:10 am
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Arcadian 3/10
The latest masturbatory material for doomsday preppers and terminally online people might be the most cliche movie so far this year. Nothing about this one is original, with elements lifted from other dystopian movies as two teenagers in the Irish countryside (standing in for the US) fight werewolf-looking things that are created from the result of people being infected by mutated cockroaches (it makes as much sense as it sounds). Nicolas Cage is the top-billed actor but he's not in very much of it, instead focusing on said teenagers with bad hair and the usual dystopian movie stereotypes. I'm honestly amazed this got a wide release as it's more or less the kind of movie IFC Midnight would have released five years ago to VOD, seen by five people and immediately forgotten.
All I got out of this extremely predictable movie is that every dystopian movie looks and feels the same now and it's time to put at least a five-year moratorium on them.
The latest masturbatory material for doomsday preppers and terminally online people might be the most cliche movie so far this year. Nothing about this one is original, with elements lifted from other dystopian movies as two teenagers in the Irish countryside (standing in for the US) fight werewolf-looking things that are created from the result of people being infected by mutated cockroaches (it makes as much sense as it sounds). Nicolas Cage is the top-billed actor but he's not in very much of it, instead focusing on said teenagers with bad hair and the usual dystopian movie stereotypes. I'm honestly amazed this got a wide release as it's more or less the kind of movie IFC Midnight would have released five years ago to VOD, seen by five people and immediately forgotten.
All I got out of this extremely predictable movie is that every dystopian movie looks and feels the same now and it's time to put at least a five-year moratorium on them.
It's like what Lenin said...I am the walrus.
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StarLord123
- Nick Naylor
- Posts: 383
- Joined: January 11th, 2018, 12:10 am
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
The Last Voyage of the Demeter 5/10
Not dreadful but definitely a rather meh experience. It looks nice enough visually, there's some occasional decent tension, and the actors try their best with this material. However it's far too long and slow paced, and therefore can only keep momentum for brief periods, the characters are pretty much incompetent and make so many poor choices (there are quite a few obvious solutions that they don't go with!), the creature is no longer frightening after its first few appearances, the scares are super predictable, and there's a very bizarre attempt at a sequel bait ending. It was nostalgic seeing the 90s DreamWorks logo and fanfare at the beginning though! That doesn't show up in movies much anymore.
Bob Marley: One Love 4/10
Unfortunately, this may be the worst possible version of a Bob Marley biopic. The brief runtime, and how poorly written, structured, and paced the film is leaves pretty much every element of its narrative totally underdeveloped and lacking any weight or emotional resonance. It makes this a totally empty experience, and that absolutely shouldn't be the case with a Marley biopic. Even the concert scenes ring hollow and aren't directed with any sense of style, and the abrupt ending doesn't help matters either. This is all despite the best efforts of the cast. Kingsley Ben-Adir nails down Marley's mannerisms well, and Lashana Lynch also does solid work as his wife Rita. Sadly they aren't able to overcome the apparent lack of care or passion put into the project otherwise, what a shame.
Not dreadful but definitely a rather meh experience. It looks nice enough visually, there's some occasional decent tension, and the actors try their best with this material. However it's far too long and slow paced, and therefore can only keep momentum for brief periods, the characters are pretty much incompetent and make so many poor choices (there are quite a few obvious solutions that they don't go with!), the creature is no longer frightening after its first few appearances, the scares are super predictable, and there's a very bizarre attempt at a sequel bait ending. It was nostalgic seeing the 90s DreamWorks logo and fanfare at the beginning though! That doesn't show up in movies much anymore.
Bob Marley: One Love 4/10
Unfortunately, this may be the worst possible version of a Bob Marley biopic. The brief runtime, and how poorly written, structured, and paced the film is leaves pretty much every element of its narrative totally underdeveloped and lacking any weight or emotional resonance. It makes this a totally empty experience, and that absolutely shouldn't be the case with a Marley biopic. Even the concert scenes ring hollow and aren't directed with any sense of style, and the abrupt ending doesn't help matters either. This is all despite the best efforts of the cast. Kingsley Ben-Adir nails down Marley's mannerisms well, and Lashana Lynch also does solid work as his wife Rita. Sadly they aren't able to overcome the apparent lack of care or passion put into the project otherwise, what a shame.
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Deep Sky 8/10
Sneaking into IMAX theatres this weekend is an entertaining documentary about the James Webb Space Telescope, the years of work it took to build it, the scientists and engineers who worked on it, and the successful launch leading to some of the recent discoveries of the galaxy. The images look impressive on the IMAX screen and the direction truly puts you into a world only the JWST has been able to go. My only fault is that the documentary should have been longer as it feels like it ends as it's truly getting going. But seeing how this was designed for field trips or museums rather than multiplexes, you can't really complain about the short length.
Sneaking into IMAX theatres this weekend is an entertaining documentary about the James Webb Space Telescope, the years of work it took to build it, the scientists and engineers who worked on it, and the successful launch leading to some of the recent discoveries of the galaxy. The images look impressive on the IMAX screen and the direction truly puts you into a world only the JWST has been able to go. My only fault is that the documentary should have been longer as it feels like it ends as it's truly getting going. But seeing how this was designed for field trips or museums rather than multiplexes, you can't really complain about the short length.
It's like what Lenin said...I am the walrus.
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StarLord123
- Nick Naylor
- Posts: 383
- Joined: January 11th, 2018, 12:10 am
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Abigail 7.5/10
Overall, this is another bloody fun time from Radio Silence. It's tense and gripping throughout without an over reliance on jump scares, it can be appropriately funny without disrupting tension, and the characters walk a fine line and have an edge to them while still remaining likable enough. Dan Stevens plays a more interesting character than the caricature of sorts that he played in GxK (the guy has range!), and Kathryn Newton, who was probably the worst character in Quantumania, gets to be likable here. Alisha Weir also nails the titular role, she can be funny when needed and is a very intimidating presence when needed. It has all the blood and gore that one could possibly want (not for the squeamish!), and it has some pretty aggressive sound mixing.
This is not so much the movie's fault as it is the marketing, and I get that they sort of had to reveal the Vampire angle in marketing, but knowing that going in lessened the first act's potential impact. It's also a little predictable, it's obvious that Joey is going to be the sole survivor based on her interactions with Abigail early on. I liked Scream VI a bit more than this (5 is OK but I have sizable issues with its writing), but these guys know how to put together a damn entertaining horror film.
Overall, this is another bloody fun time from Radio Silence. It's tense and gripping throughout without an over reliance on jump scares, it can be appropriately funny without disrupting tension, and the characters walk a fine line and have an edge to them while still remaining likable enough. Dan Stevens plays a more interesting character than the caricature of sorts that he played in GxK (the guy has range!), and Kathryn Newton, who was probably the worst character in Quantumania, gets to be likable here. Alisha Weir also nails the titular role, she can be funny when needed and is a very intimidating presence when needed. It has all the blood and gore that one could possibly want (not for the squeamish!), and it has some pretty aggressive sound mixing.
This is not so much the movie's fault as it is the marketing, and I get that they sort of had to reveal the Vampire angle in marketing, but knowing that going in lessened the first act's potential impact. It's also a little predictable, it's obvious that Joey is going to be the sole survivor based on her interactions with Abigail early on. I liked Scream VI a bit more than this (5 is OK but I have sizable issues with its writing), but these guys know how to put together a damn entertaining horror film.
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
The People's Joker 2/10
I'm honestly surprised Warner Bros. was offended by this. This glorified YouTube sketch is nothing more than an ego trip for its star/co-writer/director/editor, who could have had something if they had stuck to the basic concept of making fun of Batman and made it a ridiculously over-the-top commentary on all of the problems with the studio's handling of the DC properties while also being a celebration of being yourself. But instead, it's a self-indulgent mess of a film that has no idea of what it's trying to be. The time frame of the story is all over the place with anachronisms and random political and social references all over the place, the characterizations make no sense, the decision to tell it as mixed media is jarring and makes an already poorly-made film look even worse, and worst of all, it's not funny. It's as if the director wanted to embrace the camp of the Adam West Batman and the Joel Schumacher films (the film is dedicated to the latter) but ended up taking it seriously instead, to the point where the film ends up being angry and trying to call it self-deprecation. In addition, the attempts at parody (mainly towards the first Suicide Squad and Joker, puzzlingly deciding not to go after the Tim Burton Batman or The Dark Knight) are more references than actual jokes.
It's really disappointing this movie didn't work. The DCEU was ripe for a spoof. But it needed to be more like an actual movie than cliche Internet humor. However, this is better than Hundreds of Beavers so it's got that going for it.
I'm honestly surprised Warner Bros. was offended by this. This glorified YouTube sketch is nothing more than an ego trip for its star/co-writer/director/editor, who could have had something if they had stuck to the basic concept of making fun of Batman and made it a ridiculously over-the-top commentary on all of the problems with the studio's handling of the DC properties while also being a celebration of being yourself. But instead, it's a self-indulgent mess of a film that has no idea of what it's trying to be. The time frame of the story is all over the place with anachronisms and random political and social references all over the place, the characterizations make no sense, the decision to tell it as mixed media is jarring and makes an already poorly-made film look even worse, and worst of all, it's not funny. It's as if the director wanted to embrace the camp of the Adam West Batman and the Joel Schumacher films (the film is dedicated to the latter) but ended up taking it seriously instead, to the point where the film ends up being angry and trying to call it self-deprecation. In addition, the attempts at parody (mainly towards the first Suicide Squad and Joker, puzzlingly deciding not to go after the Tim Burton Batman or The Dark Knight) are more references than actual jokes.
It's really disappointing this movie didn't work. The DCEU was ripe for a spoof. But it needed to be more like an actual movie than cliche Internet humor. However, this is better than Hundreds of Beavers so it's got that going for it.
It's like what Lenin said...I am the walrus.
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Infested 6/10
What's this, an actually decent Shudder title? After consistently being disappointed by Shudder's theatrical output, I was somewhat surprised by this French import originally produced for Netflix. Though not entirely original, this horror film about a rare spider being brought to Paris from the UAE and her species taking over an apartment building, leading the tenants to fight for survival against the rapidly expanding spider colony. What it lacks in ambition it makes up for by being fast-paced and knowing what kind of horror movie is it. In a way, it reminded me a lot of the horror movies I remembered watching as a teenager. They weren't always the best but they were a decent way to spend two hours.
In the end, don't expect high art but you should be entertained by this one.
What's this, an actually decent Shudder title? After consistently being disappointed by Shudder's theatrical output, I was somewhat surprised by this French import originally produced for Netflix. Though not entirely original, this horror film about a rare spider being brought to Paris from the UAE and her species taking over an apartment building, leading the tenants to fight for survival against the rapidly expanding spider colony. What it lacks in ambition it makes up for by being fast-paced and knowing what kind of horror movie is it. In a way, it reminded me a lot of the horror movies I remembered watching as a teenager. They weren't always the best but they were a decent way to spend two hours.
In the end, don't expect high art but you should be entertained by this one.
It's like what Lenin said...I am the walrus.
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StarLord123
- Nick Naylor
- Posts: 383
- Joined: January 11th, 2018, 12:10 am
Re: Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep
Ferrari 6.5/10
The movie's technical elements are quite superb, the racing sequences are thrilling with some great sound design, there are a few effective moments, and the performances are generally solid. The problem is that the story put too much focus on dull relationship drama that I couldn't get that invested in. It also meanders quite a bit, and when it was over I didn't feel like I knew all that much more about the man than I did before. Not a bad movie but definitely some wasted potential here. Evidently they dusted off a script that was over a decade old and filmed it, I feel like it needed some fine-tuning.
Migration 6.5/10
A competent, serviceable, adequate, entertaining enough, but very formulaic animated talking animal adventure. If you've seen any of this type of movie from the past 20 years, then you've already seen this. Nothing really new here, but it is better than Disney's Wish.
The Zone of Interest 4/10
Well, this looks to be a rare title that we're largely in agreement on. As well-made as it is on a technical level, I was not entertained by this in any way, shape or form and couldn't wait for it to end. I understand that not all movies need to be strictly for entertainment, but regardless, this was not for me.
The movie's technical elements are quite superb, the racing sequences are thrilling with some great sound design, there are a few effective moments, and the performances are generally solid. The problem is that the story put too much focus on dull relationship drama that I couldn't get that invested in. It also meanders quite a bit, and when it was over I didn't feel like I knew all that much more about the man than I did before. Not a bad movie but definitely some wasted potential here. Evidently they dusted off a script that was over a decade old and filmed it, I feel like it needed some fine-tuning.
Migration 6.5/10
A competent, serviceable, adequate, entertaining enough, but very formulaic animated talking animal adventure. If you've seen any of this type of movie from the past 20 years, then you've already seen this. Nothing really new here, but it is better than Disney's Wish.
The Zone of Interest 4/10
Well, this looks to be a rare title that we're largely in agreement on. As well-made as it is on a technical level, I was not entertained by this in any way, shape or form and couldn't wait for it to end. I understand that not all movies need to be strictly for entertainment, but regardless, this was not for me.