Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep

[StarLord123]

Past Lives 6.5/10
In all honesty, there isn't a major flaw that I can pinpoint with this film, it's fine for what it is, but it's just not really for me. I generally don't resonate much with this type of romantic drama, and this was no exception.

Poor Things 7.5/10
This film is really bizarre, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't entertained by it. The basic premise of an adult being reincarnated with a baby's brain and going around having sex with a dozen men is kind of fucked up. Although I was able to look past that somewhat, since I think there is an interesting and unique tale of self-discovery here. If anything this is a better version of what Barbie was going for. It's easy to see why Emma Stone won the Oscar, as she gives this role her absolute all and plays a very convincing childlike character. Mark Ruffalo was actually quite funny as the guy who's driven insane by Bella's antics, and Willem Dafoe gets ample opportunity to ham it up. The movie looks great visually with top notch set design and cinematography, it's clear that this was very much a passion project amongst those involved. I laughed at a number of moments, I was also confused during some scenes, and felt awkward other times. The big issue is that it's simply too gratuitous and excessive for a portion of the runtime. It's pretty overrated but it's also too wacky and unique for me to dislike. I haven't seen anything like it, that's for sure.

[Buscemi2]

Io Capitano 8/10

Matteo Garrone's Oscar-nominated drama about a pair of teens who make the journey from Senegal to Italy to start a new life is a harrowing account of what people will do to get to fulfill their dreams, no matter the cost. The premise of immigration is not a new concept for a movie but it's not often that you see it told this way, in which the immigrants are the main focus and the risks they take to get to not only get their fresh start but to survive when faced with the challenges. The film's strengths come from how the leads play off each other well and the cinematography and while not Garrone's best film, it is another solid entry in his filmography.

[Buscemi2]

Nimona 2/10

How was this nominated for an Oscar? This Disney reject that ended up being finished by Netflix might be one of the least original big budget films I've ever seen, with ideas, scenes, and even plotlines lifted from far better movies. In addition, the animation is dreadful, the characters are one-dimensional, the titular character is so annoying she makes the Minions seem restrained at times, and any attempt at characterization or advancing the story gets dropped in favor of another one-sided action scene. There is one moment late in the movie that elevates the movie from godawful to "not as bad as The Emoji Movie" but you're eventually reminded you're still watching an unoriginal movie with a bizarre premise and an annoying shapeshifter character.

Netflix's animation department might be helping get some good projects out there but this was not one of them.

[StarLord123]

Nimona 8/10
Well, I'll be damned. I passed on this movie for so long, since I thought the animation looked a bit off-putting at a glance and there wasn't a whole lot of buzz surrounding it. Although the blend of 2D/3D animation takes a little getting used to at first, this movie is actually pretty good! Nimona is an endearing and energetic character with a great vocal performance from Chloë Grace Moretz, and her dynamic with the more soft-spoken knight is really fun. There's also a surprising amount of heart and emotion on display for a modern animated film, watching this days after Kung Fu Panda 4 puts into more perspective what that movie was lacking. While perhaps not wholly original, to me this movie combined elements from other work to make for a unique experience. The animation can look a bit unpolished and take on a mobile game-esque appearance at times, but that's more forgivable given the passion on display elsewhere, and that Disney almost killed this movie with their closure of Blue Sky. There is some occasional childish humor that's at odds with the movie's more mature themes, but otherwise this is an overlooked gem that deserved more attention.

So I guess thanks for the recommendation.

[transformers2]

The Exorcist: Believer 2/10
Having a morbid curiosity to check out (most) universally panned films backfires big time on occasion. Calling Believer a generic possession movie would be giving it too much credit as it would imply that it has a degree of base level competency that it just doesn't have. It's a remarkably aimless, dull film that isn't committed to delivering scares, a coherent story or even fucking fan service. It even manages to screw up the big exorcism after 90 minutes of excruciating build-up!!! Coming out so close to the clever, eerie Talk to Me and campily entertaining The Pope's Exorcist only further shines a light on just how much of a juiceless dud this is. Good luck with the development of those sequels you paid $8 zillion for Universal/Blumhouse!

[StarLord123]

You're braver than me, I don't have the stomach to sit through Exorcist: Believer. Considering the dreadful WOM and that the director's last film is a 1/10 as far as I'm concerned.

Dream Scenario 6/10
(Slight spoilers if anyone here hasn't seen this) I thought this was definitely a mixed bag. It had a pretty interesting start, initially this was a fun and clever spin on a creative premise, there were quite a few amusing moments. The dream sequences are also unique and well directed. However, a pretty awkward and lengthy scene about halfway through marks a turning point of sorts, then the movie becomes too mean spirited. Other than Nicolas Cage, no other character is particularly likable, and everyone somehow remembers their dreams so vividly, that they start treating him like a criminal basically. Then there's the product reveal in the last 20 minutes that feels way too abrupt since it wasn't really set up at all, plus there's a lack of true payoff, the dreams just sort of stop. Nicolas Cage's performance is very strong throughout, this could've easily totally crumbled with a different casting choice, so I still barely have a positive opinion on this for that reason, although it could've been much more.

BlackBerry 7/10
A quite enjoyable and interesting fast-paced film with sharp and witty dialogue, naturally integrated humor, and strong performances, especially from Glen Howerton who gives it his all and totally nails the psychotic co-CEO role. Although the pacing is a little too erratic at times, leaving some aspects half-baked, and the constant zoom-ins throughout in the style of The Office can be a bit distracting.

[StarLord123]

They Cloned Tyrone 6.5/10
This sci-fi comedy from last summer is decent enough, but another case of a movie falling off in the second half. John Boyega, Teyonah Parris, and Jamie Foxx are entertaining in their roles and they have a good dynamic, the concept and ideas here are pretty interesting, and there's some nice clever and witty dialogue. The movie however loses a lot of steam after the initial Kiefer Sutherland reveal about halfway through, and I really started to feel the movie's 2-hour runtime beyond that. I think this one would've been better at 90 minutes. Then the climax is largely a tedious exposition dump. Although it doesn't quite stick the landing, Juel Taylor still shows some promise in his feature directorial debut.

Ricky Stanicky 6/10
This recent R-rated comedy was apparently a spec script that dates back to 2010, and it definitely feels as such, it even has an animated opening credit sequence. The reason the movie kind of works is that John Cena excels in the role of washed up actor for hire, he nails the comedic timing and is responsible for 99% of this movie's laughs. The other leads don't provide many laughs, Zac Efron stands around looking confused and upset for most of the runtime. Speaking of which, a simple gimmicky concept like this shouldn't be pushing 2 hours. The shtick wears thin as most of the gags are stretched out as long as possible to bloat the runtime. Then there's a weird almost happily ever after type ending where there was little consequence to anything. This is not a total loss thanks to Cena's very committed performance, but ultimately it falls into the large bin of disposable comedies.

[StarLord123]

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire 5/10
As someone who thought Afterlife was really good, I think this is a huge regression sadly. Although there is enjoyment to be had, there are BIG problems here.

First off, the story is a complete mess. It's as overstuffed as can be, with about a dozen characters competing for screentime. The movie has no focus, it's basically 2 or 3 movies' worth of ideas cobbled together in just under 2 hours. There are some ideas that could be interesting if they were given more room to breathe, but that's not the case here. With the fairly quick turnaround time, I think it's abundantly clear that the script needed more time in the oven to make something cohesive out of it. At least half of these characters could've been removed and almost nothing would change, especially Finn Wolfhard's character, who only has a tiny subplot involving trying to lure Slimer into a trap. Bill Murray seemingly showed up for a little bit just because they threw enough money at him. Then there's Kumail Nanjiani's character, I'm honestly not a huge fan of his shtick, and this hasn't done a lot to change my mind on that front. A large portion of the humor fell flat for me, plus can we stop cutting tension with jokes already?? I also don't think the pacing is very good, while I wouldn't say I was bored, the first 60-70% felt like it was meandering, then the rest felt pretty rushed. Afterlife was very clearly a passion project, this on the other hand felt like an obligation.

As many issues as I have with this, there still are some aspects that I liked. Between this and Quantumania, Paul Rudd sadly doesn't have much to work with, but most of the humor that did work for me involved his character. Dan Aykroyd gets a substantial role here, and he's no doubt having a blast, which is nice to see. McKenna Grace is the only returning character from Afterlife that gets some substantial development, and although predictable, her plotline is probably the most interesting part of the movie. Plus in general, there's a certain novelty to having another adventure in this world, it's impossible not to have at least a little fun.

Overall, this isn't a terrible movie, but it's a pretty big disappointment unfortunately. I hope the filmmakers take however long is needed to get the next one right.

[Buscemi2]

Late Night with the Devil 2/10

Another indie horror film that I can't really figure out why it's popular. Focusing on a supposedly lost episode of a fictional 1970's late night talk show, the film is largely a series of possession and Satanic cliches and faux-VHS aesthetic with an unappealing lead and things you can pretty much see coming a mile away. In fact, the movie basically tells you in the first five minutes close to everything that's going to happen in the next 90. The directors seem to be more interested in the look of the film, which uses the now-cliche multiple aspect ratios concept to tell the story, wanting to be Osgood Perkins or Trey Edward Shults but ultimately is more like Michael Bay in the approach, instead of trying to be scary. And when it goes for scares, it ends up feeling more like an overlong episode of Tim and Eric.

Are horror filmmakers even trying anymore? It feels like at this point, you can make anything into a horror film and even if it's unwatchable (looking at you, Skinamarink), it will get picked up for distribution and find defenders.

[StarLord123]

Road House 4/10
No bueno. To be honest, I've never seen the original outside of bits and pieces on cable TV. I went into this remake expecting dumb cheesy fun, but what I got was largely a boring slog with flat characters, mostly bad acting, action that's average at best, a totally unengaging story, and a tone that's FAR too serious. It tries to be an 80s throwback but doesn't understand what makes cheesy 80s movies fun.

It has to be noted that my dislike of this isn't due to Jake Gyllenhaal, he gives a serviceable performance and does what he can with the bad script. Also, some signs of life do show up in the final fight scene, but it's too little too late at that point after nearly 2 hours of absolute dreck.

[transformers2]

Few quick thoughts on some recent watches

Loves Lies Bleeding 7.5/10
Rose Glass crafts another winner with this queer romantic revenge thriller. Not all of the big creative swings pay off and I wish the pulse-pounding intensity it displays in pockets was more consistent, but it's a uniquely bold film with a killer score, wild twists and some great performances-particularly from Katy O'Brian.

Immaculate 7/10
A bizarrely scattershot mix of arthouse, mainstream supernatural and camp horror elements that really only excels when it embraces being the latter. Fortunately, a loopy, full throttle final act and fierce lead performance from Sydney Sweeney that further demonstrates her increasingly impressive range are enough for it to overcome the unwieldiness of its direction.

Arthur the King 6.5/10
Arthur the King is a well-paced mixture of cheesy sports underdog drama and emotionally manipulative dog movie that regularly reminded me of the brilliance of the Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals sketch from SNL. That's probably not the type of endorsement those involved were hoping for, but that's precisely why I mildly enjoyed this one damn it!

Road House 7.5/10
Remaking Road House is quite the undertaking since it's such a pure product of its era. When Road House '24 is at its best, it does a pretty good job of recapturing the original's unapologetically campy spirit. Jake Gyllenhaal instills his take on Dalton with the right mix of calmness, mysterious charisma and dead-eyed rage, both antagonists (Billy Magnussen as the sleazy yuppie crime boss, Conor McGregor as a swaggering, cocky psycho hired to take out Dalton after the local goons fail to deliver) feel like they were ripped straight out of 80's action movies in the best way possible and some of the fight scenes are perfect homages to the visceral brawls that occupied the original. The problem is that the film regularly decides to betray the spirit by leaning too hard into intentional comedy and speeding up most of the fights with CGI-which makes otherwise well-executed scenes look distractingly goofy. If it simply embraced being the modernized version of Road House, it would've been awesome, but alas that's not the case and we're left with a merely solid update instead.

[StarLord123]

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire 7/10
Although I think this is a small step down from Godzilla vs. Kong, I still had a good time with this movie. The monster action is once again a blast, very well directed with top notch CGI and really good sound design (WB will understandably be pushing Dune 2 in the technical categories next year, but this film does deserve some recognition for those aspects too). Between this and GvK they've actually managed to give Kong a nice character arc, this also keeps the sense of fun that its predecessor has and doesn't become overly serious. The antagonists aren't super developed but they serve their purpose just fine, and they smartly kept human villains out of this, which was one of the worst aspects of KotM.

This has no doubt been said about a MonsterVerse movie before, but the story is illogical, the human characters aren't the most memorable, the new character played by Dan Stevens is fine but pretty much just here to say quips (although they wisely narrowed down the cast here), and I think the flow of the film is more clunky and heavier on exposition than its predecessor. It's also definitely a more Kong focused movie, with Godzilla not getting a whole lot to do in comparison. Regardless, Adam Wingard and his confident direction brought much needed energy and excitement that the franchise largely lacked up until that point, and for that, I'm glad these 2 movies exist.

[StarLord123]

The Iron Claw 8/10
Yeah, it is quite good. I probably wouldn't watch it again anytime soon, but it's a very well made, tremendously acted (especially from Zac Efron) powerful film. I just knew the bare minimum about these guys, but damn, a very tragic story indeed. The only real issue is that, even with some notable omissions, it tries to cover so much ground that it occasionally feels a little choppy, like at some points it's not quite clear how much time is passing. Still, the full-bodied commitment behind and in front of the camera outweighs the few narrative liberties taken.

Anatomy of a Fall 6/10
After Past Lives, I suppose this is another entry in the "fine but not really for me" bucket. I just had a hard time getting invested in the film, partly due to its excessive runtime which constantly meanders and drags scenes out as long as possible. Also, for someone who was apparently innocent, the lead character is oddly unsympathetic and distant. That said, the acting, dialogue, and directing are still good enough (the young actor Milo Machado-Graner puts in a very strong performance) to make this a serviceable watch.

[Buscemi2]

Totem 3/10

A girl visits her grandparents' house for the birthday of her father (or uncle, from the subtitles of the DCP I saw)...and not a whole lot else happens. The plot got astray pretty quickly as the characters have little to do and there's not a whole lot of objectives in the storyline outside of making sure the father/uncle is able to get out of bed to make his birthday party. And there's something about the house being cursed that never really gets explained. The direction is a pale imitation of Carla Simon's work while the script is flat and doesn't say much about its subjects.

Point A to Point B narrative at its dullest.

[Buscemi2]

Hundreds of Beavers 1/10

I seriously don't get why people liked this movie so much. Personally, I think it's the worst movie I've seen since Skinamarink. Over its way overlong 108 minute length which even at 10 minutes would have felt too long, we get an extremely moronic main character who spends all his time killing people in beaver, rabbit, and wolf suits, with various repeated gags that aren't funny the first time around, some terrible visual effects that wouldn't have been passable in the 2000's, and even repeated footage. None of it is funny and I just wanted it to be over after the fifth joke about our protagonist injuring his foot. The film wants to be an homage to Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush with elements of Road Runner cartoons but it ends up feeling like third-rate Tim and Eric.

It really shows you how desperate American comedy is in that something like this could be considering how this being called a new indie masterpiece. I just felt it made Good Burger 2 look like Buster Keaton's The General.