Rate That Movie Part IV: Movies Never Sleep

[Buscemi2]

Muschetti got hired for The Brave and the Bold because of James Gunn, pure and simple. Gunn was perhaps the only person not related to Snydercut trying to tell us The Flash was good and his constant defense of the film is embarrassing, to say the least.

At the rate he's going, he might end up getting replaced from his position before Superman: Legacy begins filming.

[Buscemi2]

Blue Jean 8/10

Engrossing drama about a closeted gym teacher in 1988 England who is faced with the dilemma of bringing her sexuality into the open when a student finds out about the real her and threatens to out her in front of a homophobic student body and equally homophobic teachers. However, it's not so simple as the student is also gay and afraid of the reaction if others find out. Actually feeling like a film from the 80's in both style and texture, the end result reminded me a lot of A Single Man but more than two decades after that film. Though not on the level of that film, this one is still effective and a cut above a lot of recent politically-charged indie dramas as it feels more realistic and less simplified than usual. The performances are solid in addition to the direction and period aesthetic.

[BanksIsDaFuture]

Haven't done this in a while and it's a shit weather day in these parts, so let's give it a go shall we?

The Flash 5/10
Move over Black Adam, a new challenger for the most mediocre superhero in recent memory has emerged! The multiverse-driven plot moves way too fast to commit to the emotional backbone of the film (Barry goes back in time to prevent the murder of his mother after his father's-who has been falsely accused of the crime and is currently serving a life sentence-final appeal to get out of prison fails) and the fan service isn't nearly persistent, aggressive or effective enough to work as a No Way Home-esque exercise in nostalgia- which in turn makes this confused, mind-numbing experience that kind of just floats around until it reaches an underwhelming, thoroughly dumb conclusion.

Really the only highlight of the movie is Michael Keaton's return as Batman and that's mostly because his charisma is undeniable and he showed up to work fully awake (which is more than can be said for Michael Shannon's return as General Zod!). The theory that Andy Muschetti got hired for The Brave and The Bold on account of how well he handled the Ezra Miller debacle behind-the-scenes and in the media that's been floated around in recent weeks is one that I'll certainly entertain as they're nothing in The Flash that indicates that he has the passion or vision to make a good superhero movie.

I liked The Flash better than the bottom-of-the-barrel DCEU films, like Black Adam or WW1984 or Aquaman, but yeah it's not good. I'll specifically never forgive James Gunn for changing the ending, so that Supergirl and Keaton's Batman stay dead, since they're the best characters the DCU has introduced since the first Shazam. I read the original ending had both of them show up at the courthouse at the end instead of the cameo we got, showing the two both came through to the mainline DCEU timeline.

As someone who believes Man of Steel is the best DCEU movie (I would say best Superman movie ever, but I haven't seen Superman 78(, I was happy to see Zod and the woman henchman again, though they did very little except stand around and have 1 5 minute fight scene.

[BanksIsDaFuture]

BlackBerry 2/10
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande 3/10
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 4/10

Busc, these feel like personal attacks because I really liked all 3 of these

[Buscemi2]

I guess that Supergirl movie isn't happening now. I had a feeling it was going to be a casualty of The Flash flopping.

How hard is it for Warner Bros. to just pick a competent vision for their DC properties? It seems like they just want overly bombastic, edgy filmmakers (Snyder, their original choice in the mid teens with Nolan), edgy filmmakers that have worked with low budgets that they think can be controlled easily (Gunn, every horror director they've hired to direct a DC movie), or just plain edgelords (Todd Phillips, who almost got the job Gunn ended up getting). If they have a director who isn't one of those, such as Patty Jenkins or the Bad Boys directors, they find a way to piss them off by micromanaging the production and bringing in one of their yes men to rework it or shelve the project completely as a Todd Phillips fanboy doesn't like it.

Of course, if Warner Bros. gotten a Feige type, they still would have screwed that up by promoting Greg Berlanti or thinking Ike Perlmutter was the guy behind Marvel's success instead of the micromanager who made them put Inhumans into theatres.

[transformers2]

Haven't done this in a while and it's a shit weather day in these parts, so let's give it a go shall we?

The Flash 5/10
Move over Black Adam, a new challenger for the most mediocre superhero in recent memory has emerged! The multiverse-driven plot moves way too fast to commit to the emotional backbone of the film (Barry goes back in time to prevent the murder of his mother after his father's-who has been falsely accused of the crime and is currently serving a life sentence-final appeal to get out of prison fails) and the fan service isn't nearly persistent, aggressive or effective enough to work as a No Way Home-esque exercise in nostalgia- which in turn makes this confused, mind-numbing experience that kind of just floats around until it reaches an underwhelming, thoroughly dumb conclusion.

Really the only highlight of the movie is Michael Keaton's return as Batman and that's mostly because his charisma is undeniable and he showed up to work fully awake (which is more than can be said for Michael Shannon's return as General Zod!). The theory that Andy Muschetti got hired for The Brave and The Bold on account of how well he handled the Ezra Miller debacle behind-the-scenes and in the media that's been floated around in recent weeks is one that I'll certainly entertain as they're nothing in The Flash that indicates that he has the passion or vision to make a good superhero movie.

I liked The Flash better than the bottom-of-the-barrel DCEU films, like Black Adam or WW1984 or Aquaman, but yeah it's not good. I'll specifically never forgive James Gunn for changing the ending, so that Supergirl and Keaton's Batman stay dead, since they're the best characters the DCU has introduced since the first Shazam. I read the original ending had both of them show up at the courthouse at the end instead of the cameo we got, showing the two both came through to the mainline DCEU timeline.

As someone who believes Man of Steel is the best DCEU movie (I would say best Superman movie ever, but I haven't seen Superman 78(, I was happy to see Zod and the woman henchman again, though they did very little except stand around and have 1 5 minute fight scene.

That was just one of the endings they filmed (and the one that would've easily made the most sense-although I didn't the love idea of 70+ year old Keaton being Batman in the main DCU timeline). They also are confirmed to have filmed one with Calle's Supergirl, Keaton's Batman, Cavill's Superman and Gadot's Wonder Woman. There's also whispers that one with just Affleck's Batman was also being considered.

[StarLord123]

This is (I think?) my first post in this thread. These are reviews that I've posted on other forums with some adjustments made. I admittedly haven't posted here much due to lack of time. I'll start with the past handful of movies that I saw in theaters. This Summer movie season has been rather bad, with 2 obvious exceptions. Help me Cruise and Nolan!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 10/10
Despite some bumps in the road with the MCU machine lately, one can reasonably expect James Gunn to deliver a satisfying conclusion to the trilogy he started, and deliver he did. It has a fantastic and emotional story, that manages to be appropriately funny at times but without interfering with the drama or cutting tension (unlike the dreadful Thor: L&T, and the not awful but very disappointing Ant-Man: Quantumania), brilliantly directed action, and CGI that's clearly more polished than other recent MCU fare, one can tell how much more of a visionary Gunn is compared to basically any other MCU director. Also, every group member gets ample time to shine, and the gifted performers manage to juggle the heavy material with ease, and we got a compelling villain that is truly irredeemable and vicious, without any half-assed attempts to make him sympathetic. It culminates in an incredible fight sequence that might be the MCU's best to date. Gunn also subverts expectations in a great way with the film's ending, delivering a truly fitting send-off for these characters while still leaving the door open just enough. One could argue that Adam Warlock didn't really need to be in the movie, but I feel it deserves top marks nonetheless.

Fast X 6/10
It's not a great sign when I watched this film a bit over a month ago and can't tell you much of what happened in it, other than John Cena being a babysitter and Jason Momoa talking to 2 corpses. Those actors are the clear standouts and save the movie to some degree, bringing some needed fun and energy, while everyone else is just doing their usual routine without changing much, in this jumbled mess of too many plot threads and characters, and a ridiculous cliffhanger ending that leaves you going "sigh" instead of leaving you wanting more like it should. Please make just one more movie and put this franchise to rest already.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 10/10
WOW, THIS MOVIE. It's astounding how much creativity went into every frame, the action scenes are jaw dropping, the story is deeply engaging and emotional much like the first film was. Miles is such a well written character, he's had insanely good character development, easily better than what Tom Holland's Peter Parker had in his movies. I was just a little concerned at first that it would feel too long, but it was the exact opposite, it flew by. Topping it off with a cliffhanger ending done properly and leaving you pumped for the next one (I originally thought it was too abrupt, but it worked better for me on 2nd viewing), and this is an EPIC movie from top to bottom. Hats off to everyone involved in making this visual masterpiece. I will be bummed at the inevitable delay for the next one, but at the same time I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.

The Flash 5/10
More like the Dollar Tree version of No Way Home. When you have Tom Cruise and Stephen King of all people praising this as the 2nd coming, it's no wonder that many audiences weren't satisfied, because this is painfully average. Real life BS aside, Ezra Miller gives a fine though sometimes obnoxious performance in this, Michael Keaton gets some cool moments as Batman and it's inherently nice to see him back, and he gave it his all, even if he was ultimately wasted. I think some of the humor works and the basic setup/concept is fine. It's got probably the WORST CGI I've seen in a modern big budget movie. Whether intentional or not, the speed bubble scenes are ripped straight out of an old PS3 game, and they have this "uncanny valley" appearance to them that is total eye cancer. Supergirl doesn't serve much purpose to the story and could've been removed, the lack of a clear villainous presence for most of the runtime means there's barely any urgency, and Zod is there for not much reason other than having things go boom and phoning in his lines for a check. It runs through a super generic 3rd act battle, to a resolution and ending that I don't think were satisfying at all, it just left me thinking "that's it?" Best of luck at fixing this mess James Gunn.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny 4/10
I take no pleasure in saying that I disliked Harrison Ford's permanent swan song for the Indiana Jones character. The opening prologue is actually pretty damn good, it feels like the good old days, but the movie more or less fell off a cliff beyond that. Harrison Ford puts in a good performance, one can clearly tell that he's passionate about the character, but they just had to take the godawful "hero is broken and depressed" route, having learned no lessons from the dreaded Star Wars sequels (and even Flash did this to some extent with Keaton's Batman, f*****g stop already). Top Gun: Maverick understood how to avoid this trap, it made Maverick sad and vulnerable when necessary, while still keeping the spirit of his character fully intact. Hate is too strong of a word, but the PWB character was not likable at all, and her attempts to be quirky land with a thud. Mads Mikkelsen elevates a one dimensional villain with a solid performance (as he usually does), it's criminal how badly they wasted Antonio Banderas, the brief bits with Sallah were nice. The action scenes (other than the opening) are unremarkable, James Mangold is a great and versatile director, but I think he may have bitten off more than he could chew. The 3rd act is complete nonsense, and makes the 3rd act of Crystal Skull look like Endgame. The final scene sounds good on paper, but it feels too abrupt and tacked on considering what came before, and almost feels manipulative. Also, the movie is just too damn long. Despite its numerous flaws, I think Crystal Skull served as a more fitting end for the character. I was hopeful going in, but I ultimately think this movie was an ill-advised idea from the start, and that it was never going to work. The more I've thought about the movie, the more I've started to despise it.

[Buscemi2]

I had to replace my laptop last week and couldn't get a new password until today. Anyway, here's my most recent theatre viewing.

Mission: Impossible: Dead Reckoning - Part One 8/10

Hey, I actually liked one of these "split a movie into multiple parts to increase the box office take" things for once. You know what to expect with Mission: Impossible and Tom and Christopher McQuarrie deliver the goods once again while not alienating the audience with cheap plot twists or pandering. This is a tentpole movie that works. The action sequences are entertaining, there's emotion in the storytelling, and you don't even mind that it's two hours and 45 minutes and they end the story halfway. This is what the new Indiana Jones should have been: fun, enjoyable, and it doesn't feel like an afterthought that puts the almighty dollar ahead of the film's quality.

[Buscemi2]

Somewhere in Queens 4/10

Ray Romano's attempt at an Italian-tinged version of The Big Sick doesn't quite work. While Romano tries and does succeed at times in making an indie that isn't like modern indie films, the largely stereotypical characters and the whiplash of the two plots make it difficult to work. Also, the characters lack depth, leading the end result to feel like a two-hour Everybody Loves Raymond episode. Had the film had a few more rewrites, it could have been better. Instead, chalk it up to another example of actors trying to direct.

[numbersix]

Has no one else watched Barbenheimer yet?



Oppenheimer: 4/10

Nolan's strength lies as a visual director, that's why he was right for Batman, and arguably for a WWII drama, a psyco-heist movie, etc. All his weaknesses come to the fore in this biopic of Oppenheimer, the man behind the bomb. It's told with the same flair and complexity of his last few films, with lots of cutting through timelines and twists and turns. But the film is heartless, even though it purports to be about Oppenheimer's regret. But I saw very little of that, and instead it's an obsessive look at the time leading up to the A-bomb, and then it then turns into a film about one of his antagonists who wants to sully his name. It's all surface and no depth, and the female characters are written terribly. So is the writing, in fact, beyond a few pacy exchanges and some gravitas-injected exclamations which all feel designed for the trailer. Cillian Murphy does a good job in trying to humanise a character that the writer/director failed to make human.


Barbie: 6/10
A much better time, and maybe it'll grow on me. Right now it feels like a glorious mess, full of fun ideas with a structure that doesn't quite work. For a film about Barbie, it quickly becomes about masculinity rather than feminity, as Ryan Gosling's Ken steals the show. Some lobbed in ideas (the real-world mother and daughter, as well as the Barbie company owner that's too similar to The LEGO Movie) really harm the film, but there are enough good jokes to make it a fun flick. And it has the best final sentence in a film for some time.

[Buscemi2]

Barbie was co-written by the guy behind Marriage Story and distributed by a studio headed by angry white men, so of course there's going to be a lot of masculinity.

And I could hear a lot of Oppenheimer during Somewhere in Queens so I do know Nolan still thinks loud means good.

[Screen203]

I have seen both - and really enjoyed them both.

[Chienfantome]

I haven't seen either yet. I caught Indy and MI7 and loved them both.

[Buscemi2]

Cobweb 3/10

This ripoff of The People Under the Stairs is pretty forgettable. While at first glance it might be a step above the typical haunted house movie with its leads and Seth Rogen producing, the end result is unsure of if it wants to be a film about a kid who finds out about his family's secrets, a ghost movie, or a monster movie. The thriller elements work better than the horror elements but in the end, it's just another horror movie you'll remember little about as soon as it ends.

I had more fun with the trailer reel, showing bad looking B-movie after bad looking B-movie while inside a megaplex that's seen better days.

[StarLord123]

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One 8/10
The ever reliable Tom Cruise delivered another very good action movie, albeit a step down from the 4th and 6th installments of the series. This one still delivers nicely, the cast brings their A game as usual (except for Ving Rhames, who's a bit underused and eventually dissappears), Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff are cool additions and fit right in to this franchise. The action is as insane and nail biting as ever. The storyline is a bit similar to Indiana Jones 5 when you think about it, this is what that movie was trying to be but failed in terms of execution. To an extent the movie sticks to a formula, but it's a winning formula. Admittedly I don't think the villains in this were that compelling, though maybe part 2 could fix or mitigate that issue, and I think the exposition dump prologue got a little tedious (must've been 20-25 minutes before the opening credits!). Still a great movie overall, and it's a shame to see that calling it "part one" (despite it being more standalone than Fast X or Across the Spider-Verse) and the bad release date have sabotaged its box office earnings.

Oppenheimer 9/10
This movie is truly epic, but can also be overwhelming at times. It takes some very skilled writing and directing to make a movie about a nuclear scientist this gripping and intense. Cillian Murphy pours everything into this role, but as great as he is, RDJ almost steals the show with his fairly limited screentime. There's a sense of dread present throughout most of the movie thanks to the intense musical score and fast paced editing, and clever dialogue, it ensures that the viewer is never bored and almost always on edge. Complete with the sound design where you can feel every explosion hit you in the chest. The Trinity test sequence and the buildup to it is an absolute masterclass in building tension and making the audience nervous, and the aftermath is gut wrenching with incredible acting all around. The viewer really feels the toll this ordeal has taken on him.

As for gripes, not much. I think it felt a bit disjointed early on, bouncing between scenes and settings a bit too quickly, and since this movie is covering so many events and so much of his life, it can feel overstuffed. Plus Nolan's dialogue muting can creep in occasionally. Overall though, this is an insane achievement in filmmaking, and one I imagine was a herculean task to pull off this successfully.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts 6/10
More like: "Been There, Done That: The Movie". It's not particularly bad, but it's the same damn thing that we've seen 5 times previously, just without much of Michael Bay's overindulgence. The story follows the same template as the Bay films almost beat for beat, which means it's really predictable. This is also one of three big budget movies released this summer that are about obtaining 2 halves of a macguffin and putting them together (Indy 5, Mission 7, and this), what an odd coincidence! The new human characters are passable, the action scenes are cool enough, but are lacking the distinct flair that Bay's films have. Weirdly enough, Pete Davidson of all people steals the movie and injects some life into it. Not much else to say really, it's a "fine" movie, nothing that's really bad about it (EXCEPT the reveal right at the end, facepalm), but I've already forgotten a lot of it.