Speare's Tips: The Legend Continues: The Films of 3/23
Posted: March 22nd, 2018, 7:25 pm
I used to love column-writing, now I almost forgot how to do it.
This is coming way later than I thought it would, so this'll have to be the boiled-down version.
A Wrinkle in Time and then Tomb Raider failed to knock T'Challa out of the catbird seat, making Black Panther the first film since Avatar to hold the box office crown for five straight weeks. More than likely, Pacific Rim Uprising will do the job, though it won't be by much.
Guillermo del Toro, fresh of his Oscar win, is co-producing the sequel to his 2013 hit, allowing Steven S. DeKnight to take the directorial reins this time out. The original barely squeaked past the blockbuster line in the summer season five years ago, but odds are the sequel - basically the same story of giant robots (which make the Transformers look like can openers, height-wise) battle giant sea monsters that have returned to plague Earth. John Boyega takes a respite from the Star Wars franchise to lead the cast that includes returning members Charlie Day, Burn Gorman, and Rinko Kikuchi. Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, and (goddamn it) Ron Perlman are among those not returning.
The plot is pretty much irrelevant, as moviegoers will only buy a ticket to see big robots kick ass and major metropolises get fucked up. Uprising is getting a very good release platform from the folks at Universal, over 3,700 theaters. I think it will pull in around $23M, which should be more than enough to beat BP's sixth week. I foresee nine Top 5 points, three PTA, a fair-to-middling User Rating and about $65M. For only $13 in the March Ultimate Leagues, that's not all that bad.
For the much younger kids comes Sherlock Gnomes, a sequel to the 2011 animated hit Gnomeo and Juliet (which hilariously fell $33,000 short of blockbuster status. Johnny Depp cashes a paycheck as the titular Sherlock, who is brought in when garden gnomes start disappearing (heaven forfend!). The cast also includes Emily Blunt (coming up in A Quiet Place), Mary J. Blige, and ... MICHAEL CAINE? (shakes head). Okay, this film is critic proof, as parents of small kids will endure 85 minutes of fart jokes and such. This trailer looks stupid as fuck, but then, so did Peter Rabbit. Honestly, this could go either way, but I'll err on the side of good taste and say this won't be as big a hit. I foresee $15M OW, four Top 5, maybe 1-2 PTA, and $50M overall. It's $12 in Ultimate leagues, but the current Rating is 4.4, which will sink your slate like a ceramic troll-like figurine if you pick it. If you want it, make it in Box Office, where the horrible reviews won't hurt you.
I'm going to lump Paul Apostle of Christ, Midnight Sun, and Unsane into the "don't pick them" category. They're all between 1400 and 2100 theaters as far as release platform, and honestly, I doubt any of them will crack the Top 5 this week, earn $20M overall, or be worth even the handful of bucks you'd pay for them.
Wes Anderson is going animated again with Isle of Dogs, a very Wes Anderson-y looking film with an all-star cast that includes Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, and Best Actress winner Frances McDormand. Oh, and ScarJo, Harvey Keitel, and that guy who played Salieri. Honestly, it's Wes Anderson, which means it will be a PTA monster for as long as it stays limited (not sure how long that will be). The User Rating is already terrific (8.2), and while it doesn't look like it has the huge family appeal of Sherlock Gnomes *bangs head on desk*, I would highly recommend picking this up for $5. There aren't many sure things in PTA, but this is one of them. It's in 27 theaters, which is perfect.
Final Portrait is the story of Swiss painter/sculptor Alberto Giacometti (who?). It stars Geoffrey Rush, Armie Hammer, and Tony Shalhoub. I may not know much about art, but I do know a little about art-house films, and the three-theater count and the fact that it's Sony Classics makes me want to choose this film. It's only $3, so if you have room for it, it may be worth gambling on. I wouldn't count on more than four PTA, though.
Back to Burgundy is a French film. It's $3. *shrugs*
Top 5:
Giant Robots vs. Giant Monsters, $25M
#1 Marvel movie of all time, $17M
Dumb as Fuck kids' movie, $15M
AnJolie reboot, $10M
Who Would have "Imagined" such a hit?, $9M
PTA: Isle of Dogs, Final Portrait, Pacific Rim 2, I Can Only Imagine, Back to Burgundy
Next week, Six takes on Senor Spielbergo, and Tyler "Refrigerator" Perry's latest drama.
This is coming way later than I thought it would, so this'll have to be the boiled-down version.
A Wrinkle in Time and then Tomb Raider failed to knock T'Challa out of the catbird seat, making Black Panther the first film since Avatar to hold the box office crown for five straight weeks. More than likely, Pacific Rim Uprising will do the job, though it won't be by much.
Guillermo del Toro, fresh of his Oscar win, is co-producing the sequel to his 2013 hit, allowing Steven S. DeKnight to take the directorial reins this time out. The original barely squeaked past the blockbuster line in the summer season five years ago, but odds are the sequel - basically the same story of giant robots (which make the Transformers look like can openers, height-wise) battle giant sea monsters that have returned to plague Earth. John Boyega takes a respite from the Star Wars franchise to lead the cast that includes returning members Charlie Day, Burn Gorman, and Rinko Kikuchi. Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, and (goddamn it) Ron Perlman are among those not returning.
The plot is pretty much irrelevant, as moviegoers will only buy a ticket to see big robots kick ass and major metropolises get fucked up. Uprising is getting a very good release platform from the folks at Universal, over 3,700 theaters. I think it will pull in around $23M, which should be more than enough to beat BP's sixth week. I foresee nine Top 5 points, three PTA, a fair-to-middling User Rating and about $65M. For only $13 in the March Ultimate Leagues, that's not all that bad.
For the much younger kids comes Sherlock Gnomes, a sequel to the 2011 animated hit Gnomeo and Juliet (which hilariously fell $33,000 short of blockbuster status. Johnny Depp cashes a paycheck as the titular Sherlock, who is brought in when garden gnomes start disappearing (heaven forfend!). The cast also includes Emily Blunt (coming up in A Quiet Place), Mary J. Blige, and ... MICHAEL CAINE? (shakes head). Okay, this film is critic proof, as parents of small kids will endure 85 minutes of fart jokes and such. This trailer looks stupid as fuck, but then, so did Peter Rabbit. Honestly, this could go either way, but I'll err on the side of good taste and say this won't be as big a hit. I foresee $15M OW, four Top 5, maybe 1-2 PTA, and $50M overall. It's $12 in Ultimate leagues, but the current Rating is 4.4, which will sink your slate like a ceramic troll-like figurine if you pick it. If you want it, make it in Box Office, where the horrible reviews won't hurt you.
I'm going to lump Paul Apostle of Christ, Midnight Sun, and Unsane into the "don't pick them" category. They're all between 1400 and 2100 theaters as far as release platform, and honestly, I doubt any of them will crack the Top 5 this week, earn $20M overall, or be worth even the handful of bucks you'd pay for them.
Wes Anderson is going animated again with Isle of Dogs, a very Wes Anderson-y looking film with an all-star cast that includes Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, and Best Actress winner Frances McDormand. Oh, and ScarJo, Harvey Keitel, and that guy who played Salieri. Honestly, it's Wes Anderson, which means it will be a PTA monster for as long as it stays limited (not sure how long that will be). The User Rating is already terrific (8.2), and while it doesn't look like it has the huge family appeal of Sherlock Gnomes *bangs head on desk*, I would highly recommend picking this up for $5. There aren't many sure things in PTA, but this is one of them. It's in 27 theaters, which is perfect.
Final Portrait is the story of Swiss painter/sculptor Alberto Giacometti (who?). It stars Geoffrey Rush, Armie Hammer, and Tony Shalhoub. I may not know much about art, but I do know a little about art-house films, and the three-theater count and the fact that it's Sony Classics makes me want to choose this film. It's only $3, so if you have room for it, it may be worth gambling on. I wouldn't count on more than four PTA, though.
Back to Burgundy is a French film. It's $3. *shrugs*
Top 5:
Giant Robots vs. Giant Monsters, $25M
#1 Marvel movie of all time, $17M
Dumb as Fuck kids' movie, $15M
AnJolie reboot, $10M
Who Would have "Imagined" such a hit?, $9M
PTA: Isle of Dogs, Final Portrait, Pacific Rim 2, I Can Only Imagine, Back to Burgundy
Next week, Six takes on Senor Spielbergo, and Tyler "Refrigerator" Perry's latest drama.