Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

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undeadmonkey
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Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by undeadmonkey »

90s nostalgia is king at the box office and it's showing no signs of slowing down either, with about 20 Disney remakes on the way, as well as a myriad of other tv shows, games, (Hasbro Cinematic Universe, It's a thing) candies, toys (i'm pretty sure i read a furby movie is in the works somewhere too. yup i did, http://www.cinemablend.com/news/1581879 ... t-sure-why). It's only a matter of time before someone starts a Teen Pop Cinematic Universe. Then, and only then will our lives be complete.

Beauty and the Beast obviously held on to the top spot over the weekend. Making it into the top 5 biggest 2nd weeks of all time. I'm honestly blown away by Power Rangers opening weekend, clocking in a bit of $40M. Our other newcomers didnt fare so well, Life should have been called death, which is what i'm assuming happened to the characters in the movie and Chips wishes it would have been a 90's tv show. Dax Shepards birthday suit and his wife's mammary glands couldn't even save it.


You're probably just having a mid-life crisis. Did you buy a Porsche yet?
Charlotte, Lost in Translation - Walleye

First Up, we have The Boss Baby (Dreamworks Animation/Fox). It is loosely based on the picture book of the same name written and illustrated by Marla Frazee. The film is directed by Tom McGrath, the mastermind behind the grating Madagascar franchise (sorry shryke) and the despicable Me wannabe Megamind. The one good thing the movie has going for it is that the marketplace hasnt seen an animated film since The Batman Lego movie in early February. The downside is that we have cute blue smurfs opening next weekend and i can see a lot of families holding off to see that instead of this creepy animated Benjamin Button.


Oh you poor sweet thing. You wanna stay in the jungle? You can be with me if you want. I'll keep you close. - Kaa, The Jungle Book - Banks


Storyline
A man named Tim Templeton (Tobey Maguire) narrates and describes his imaginative and adventurous seven-year-old self (Miles Christopher Bakshi) as being envious of his fast-talking, briefcase-carrying baby brother named the "Boss Baby" (Alec Baldwin). When he goes on a mission to win back the affection of his parents (Jimmy Kimmel and Lisa Kudrow), he finds out about a secret plot by Puppy Co.'s CEO Francis E. Francis (Steve Buscemi), which revolves around his baby brother and threatens to destabilize the balance of love in the world. Both brothers must unite to save their parents and restore order to the world and prove that love is indeed an infinite force.


I’ll predict a $30M OW and $100M overall.

Image


Ok, I'll go first. I'm here to make new friends. Oh, and for the wine.

Next we have Ghost in the Shell (Paramount). Directed by Rupert Sanders, you know, the guy who turned Kirsten Stewart gay or at least helped. The movie is based on the Japanese manga of the same name by Masamune Shirow. The film stars Scarlett Johansson, Takeshi Kitano, Michael Pitt, Pilou Asbæk, Chin Han and Juliette Binoche. I'm not one to put much stock in the flavor of the week controversy. We here in america seem to have developed into a childlike culture that anything and everything offends us. However all those claiming 'erasure' and 'whitewashing' and clamoring for representation seem to forget Japan makes dozens of movies every year filled with only Japanese actors, yet they don't watch them when they are released here or even seem to care to get more of them released here. Never the less, like the Hollywood bigwigs, we really just care how it'll do at the box office and i see it performing similar to Lucy. Scarjo has enough box office clout to bring a certain demographic, so while the movie won't be the next breakout, it shouldnt bomb either.

Mom, I am not you! I'm not gonna get pregnant at 16. I'm not gonna stay here for the rest of my life and be a trailer trash sheriff! .

Storyline
Cyborg counter-cyberterrorist field commander The Major (Scarlett Johansson) and her task force Section 9 thwart and humiliate criminals, hackers and terrorists. Now, they must face a new enemy who will stop at nothing to sabotage Hanka Robotics' artificial intelligence technology.


I predict an opening of $30M with a total of $90M.


Image


The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you. - Samantha, Her - Banks

Opening in limited/wide release is The Zookeepers Wife, it is a 2017 war drama film directed by Niki Caro and written by Angela Workman, based on the non-fiction book of the same name by Diane Ackerman. The film stars Jessica Chastain, Johan Heldenbergh, Michael McElhatton and Daniel Brühl. The Zookeeper's Wife tells the account of keepers of the Warsaw Zoo, Antonina and Jan Żabiński, who helped save hundreds of Jews during the German invasion of Poland.


I predict: Stay Away, you wont get any Top5 or PTA, unless that 7.2 IMDb scores looks appealing to you.


If you don't start undressing me soon this is going to turn into a panel discussion.


Mini Game: Last time i only used quotes from one of johnny depps characters. I still stuck with one actor this time, but from all of their work instead of one movie. I thought it would be a fun side game to see who could guess which character and which movie the quotes are from. No cheating please! Winner will get pride and internet praise....

My predictions for the weekend of March 31 -April 2, 2017:


1. Beauty and the Beast $40M
2. The Boss Baby $30M
3. Ghost in the Shell $30M
4. Power Rangers $20M
5. Kong: Skull Island $7M

PTA:
5. Beauty and the Beast
4. Ghost in the Shell
3. The Boss Baby
2. Power Rangers
1. The Prison (is this even in the game?)



Next week we have Smurfs: The Lost Village, Going in Style, The Case for Christ, Their Finest, and Gifted opening. Brought to you by our wonderful Walleye who will let his inner Lady Gargamel shine. see you then

The Octopus always finds his nemesis so distracting.
Last edited by undeadmonkey on April 1st, 2017, 1:39 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Shrykespeare
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Shrykespeare »

Love the quotes, UDM. Great predictions, too!


Celebrity birthdays:

Christopher Lambert turned 60 on 3/29
Warren Beatty turns 80 on 3/30
Paul Reiser turns 60 on 3/30
Mackenzie Davis turns 30 on 4/1
Asa Butterfield turns 20 on 4/1
Michael Fassbender turns 40 on 4/2
Happy 60th birthday Jet Li! (4/26/23)

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Walleye413
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Walleye413 »

I think you're right except for the top line. Beauty didn't drop 50% this past week and it won't for this week either. I'd say close to 50 million for the weekend especially with Spring Breaks happening all over.

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undeadmonkey
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by undeadmonkey »

No guesses on the quotes? Are they too difficult? Would it help if I put the characters names on them? Though some it would give away

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numbersix
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by numbersix »

I'm guessing it's Scarlett Jo, though I can't pinpoint any of the quotes!

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undeadmonkey
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by undeadmonkey »

Oh yes, they are all Scarjo characters, sorry i should have made that clear.

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BanksIsDaFuture
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by BanksIsDaFuture »

Narrowing it down to ScarJo definitely helps.
You're probably just having a mid-life crisis. Did you buy a Porsche yet?
Think this is Ghost World?
Oh you poor sweet thing. You wanna stay in the jungle? You can be with me if you want. I'll keep you close.
Haven't seen it, but assuming this is The Jungle Book?
The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you.
This is from Her! :D

Have no idea on the rest.
Alexandra Daddario: Eyes of a Demon, Face of My Future Ex-Wife

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undeadmonkey
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by undeadmonkey »

BanksIsDaFuture wrote:Narrowing it down to ScarJo definitely helps.
You're probably just having a mid-life crisis. Did you buy a Porsche yet?
Think this is Ghost World?
Oh you poor sweet thing. You wanna stay in the jungle? You can be with me if you want. I'll keep you close.
Haven't seen it, but assuming this is The Jungle Book?
The heart is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love. I'm different from you.
This is from Her! :D

Have no idea on the rest.
no, yes and yes

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Walleye413
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Walleye413 »

Is the first one Lost in Translation?

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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Buscemi »

The Boss Baby looks to be overperforming with an estimated $50.5 million weekend, according to Deadline. The Cinemascore was an A-.

Disney and Universal certainly dodged a bullet by passing on Ghost in the Shell as it looks like a flop with an estimated $20.9 million weekend. The Cinemascore was a mediocre B. The end result might not even hit $50 million (reported budget was $110 million while promotion and DCP's were probably another $60-75 million, that's a straight up bomb).

Early estimates have The Zookeeper's Wife performing like a wide release, as it's looking at $3 million in just 474 theatres.

What we've learned:
- People still love lame attempts at adult gags in children's movies.
- Never Americanize classic anime/manga (I wonder if Jordan Peele might rethink the Akira gig now).
- World War II movies still sell (even if you have an American lead do a dreadful accent).
Everything on this post is strictly the opinion and only the opinion of Buscemi.

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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by transformers2 »

Ghost in the Shell will make a bajillion dollars overseas, so it won't end up going down as a bomb.
BRING BRENDAN FRASER BACK TO THE BIG SCREEN DAMN IT
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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Shrykespeare »

Friday estimates:

The Boss Baby, $15.5M
Beauty and the Beast, $13M
Ghost in the Shell, $7.7M
Power Rangers, $4M
Kong: Skull Island, $2.4M
Get Out, $1.7M
Logan, $1.7M
Life, $1.7M
CHiPs, $1.2M
The Zookeeper's Wife, $1M



Weekend Projections:

Beauty and the Beast, $51M
The Boss Baby, $50M (close!)
Ghost in the Shell, $20M
Power Rangers, $13.5M
Kong: Skull Island, $9.3M
Logan, $6.6M
Get Out, $6M
Life, $5.7M
CHiPs, $4.1M
The Zookeeper's Wife, $3.5M


PTA:

The Boss Baby, $13K
Beauty and the Beast, $12K
The Zookeeper's Wife, $6K
Ghost in the Shell, $5K
Power Rangers, $4K
Happy 60th birthday Jet Li! (4/26/23)

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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by undeadmonkey »

Walleye413 wrote:Is the first one Lost in Translation?

yes

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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by Buscemi »

transformers2 wrote:Ghost in the Shell will make a bajillion dollars overseas, so it won't end up going down as a bomb.
International grosses alone can't carry a film. Otherwise, Pacific Rim 2 wouldn't be a low-budget cash-in and Terminator Genisys would have gotten those two sequels.

And do you really think a whitewashed, Hollywoodized version of a classic anime would sell in Asia? And it's not Lucy so it won't be as big in Europe. If my $170-185 million estimate holds weight, the film needs to gross between $425 and $462.5 million to break even. Last year, only 18 films grossed $425 million worldwide (one of those was Warcraft, a film that needed to make over $600 million to break even).

Yeah, it's a bomb.
Everything on this post is strictly the opinion and only the opinion of Buscemi.

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Re: Look! An Undead Movie Column: New Releases of 3/31/17

Post by transformers2 »

Buscemi wrote:
transformers2 wrote:Ghost in the Shell will make a bajillion dollars overseas, so it won't end up going down as a bomb.
International grosses alone can't carry a film. Otherwise, Pacific Rim 2 wouldn't be a low-budget cash-in and Terminator Genisys would have gotten those two sequels.

And do you really think a whitewashed, Hollywoodized version of a classic anime would sell in Asia? And it's not Lucy so it won't be as big in Europe. If my $170-185 million estimate holds weight, the film needs to gross between $425 and $462.5 million to break even. Last year, only 18 films grossed $425 million worldwide (one of those was Warcraft, a film that needed to make over $600 million to break even).

Yeah, it's a bomb.
Yes because they don't give a shit about the race of robots over there. The "controversy" surrounding Ghost in the Shell was completely manufactured by the segment of America's population that feels the need to be outraged by something.

Low domestic returns may be prevent sequels from happening, but high international grosses prevent studios from taking hits on movies (enter xXx: Return of Xander Cage). The visual style and genre (sci-fi action) of Ghost in the Shell gives it a strong shot of succeeding overseas, and those grosses should ultimately prevent it from finishing it in the red.
BRING BRENDAN FRASER BACK TO THE BIG SCREEN DAMN IT
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