America's Got Talent Thread (pres. by Shryke and Geezer)

[Buscemi]

This is what I call "Man Getting Hit by Football" Syndrome.

[Shrykespeare]

Week 2 of the auditions.


Travis Pratt, 32, singer - Wow. When this guy walked on stage, I was expecting some Motown or something, but opera? Why do all the opera singers on this show come in such strange packages? I'm not as enamored of him right off the bat as I was about Andrew DeLeon (not surprisingly, they both chose the same aria for their audition), but still, what a wonderful surprise. And THEN he proposed! Wow, now all America's going to be behind this guy.

Nina and Yuri, balancing act - Not bad, but we've seen something like this every season.

Leeza and Ron, ballroom dancers - I love ballroom dancing, but it's just not a Vegas show. It's hard to imagine any such act topping the Untouchables from last season.

Ruby and Jonas, 9 and 10, ballroom dancers, and Amanda and d'Angelo, 13 and 12, ballroom dancers - Again, you gotta love little kids who are obviously hella talented at dancing, but there's just not enough there to make a compelling act. I actually do remember them from the Untouchables... we just can't get rid of these kids (and there were the proud Miami instructors, back again on the sidelines).

Mariachi Nuevo Estillo AVM - It's one thing if you're fronted by an adorable 10-year-old with a huge voice, but this group doesn't have that. They moved around a bit more and tried to infuse their sound with more modern lyrics, so kudos to them. Don't see them making it past the first round of the show if they make it that far.

Brad Byers, 53, sword swallower - Not bad. Not spectacular, but not bad. Adding the x-ray machine was a nice touch.

Collins Key, 16, magician - I was wondering when we'd get the first magician, and I loved this trick! Can't wait to see what this kid does next.


I'll recap the second hour tomorrow. Time for bed.

[Geezer]

Tone the Chiefrocca, 27 - Shryke, this is THE BEST ACT I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW!!! OH MY GOD!!! I FELL OFF MY COUCH LAUGHING. LITERALLY!!!!
My stomach hurts. I'm in tears. I want this act to WIN THE COMPETITION. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on television. I do not remember the last time I laughed this hard. When he said my dream is to be A ONE HIT WONDER! I FUCKING LOST IT!!! This couldn't be greater. And the judges are right, he needs to do THE SAME THING every time. GAME OVER!

The best act EVER!? That's just... nuts. The song was repetitive, and the beat was a mixture of "Baby Got Back" and "Whoomp! There is Is".

Besides, if their goal is to be a one-hit wonder, what are they going to do next? They can't just perform the same song over and over again, despite what Howie said. It's certainly not a Vegas show.

Not only CAN they perform the same song over again, they HAVE TO perform the same song! If they didn't come out so emphatically and hysterically stating that their dream was to be a ONE-HIT-WONDER then I'd agree, but that level of thinking is what makes it so funny, not even the song itself. When Howard said they reminded him of the Gangnam Style guy, his response was perfect. I swear I've never laughed so hard at anything on television. I know they won't win, and likely won't go past Vegas, nor is it a Vegas show, but it sure as hell entertained me.

[Shrykespeare]

Second hour of the auditions.

Megan Piphus, 20, ventriloquist - Well, a ventriloquist who sang once one this show, but though she's cute, she's nowhere near Terry Fator's level. She needs better-looking dummies, too.

Jonathan Allen, 20, singer - I love this kid. Shy, unassuming, but with a brilliant baritone voice. He is my Andrew DeLeon for the season. I want him to go all the way. Take that, homophobic parents!

Alexandria the Great, 51, escape artist - Well, we've both seen escape artists on this show before, but never one so old, and never a woman! The fact that she can remain calm, and hold her breath for over 90 seconds is amazing. She won't win the show, but I'm betting she's not one-note like Prof. Splash.

Sam Johnson, 34, daredevil acrobat - Holy shit. Now THAT's a danger act! Can't wait to see what comes next.

Paul Thomas Mitchell, 18, singer - Every season there's one uber-talented teenage boy with a great face and a great backstory. PTM is that for this season. He's got a great bluesy-pop voice, and I think he could go really far.


Who knows? Not that we got a non-singing winner, let's hope the judges don't go out of their way to bash this season's group.

[Geezer]

Travis Pratt, 32, singer - This happens EVERY YEAR. Someone doing Opera that you don't expect and killing it. Doesn't make it any less awesome. Loved this guy. Side Note: If the singing thing doesn't work out, he could be Chris Tucker's double.

Nina and Yuri, balancing act - Yeah, it is getting redundant, but that last trick still made me go WOW.

Leeza and Ron, ballroom dancers - None for me thanks.

Ruby and Jonas, 9 and 10, ballroom dancers, and Amanda and d'Angelo, 13 and 12, ballroom dancers - It is more impressive when they are young, but it definitely isn't a Vegas act. They will have jobs in the field, just not million dollar AGT jobs.

Mariachi Nuevo Estillo AVM - Yeah it didn't do it for me. I'm sure they have talent, but it's not what I'm looking for from this show.

Brad Byers, 53, sword swallower - Agree that adding the x-ray is a great touch. He needs to do more than swallow swords though to go far.

Collins Key, 16, magician - HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT. The bag was sealed! Wow! What an awesome performance. I loved every second of it. This is why I watch this show.

Megan Piphus, 20, ventriloquist - I can't understand her puppets. Maybe she should just try singing herself, because the pipes are there, I just wish she didn't have to use the dummies to showcase it.

Jonathan Allen, 20, singer - Love him as well. Fantastic talent. I hope he goes on to make loads of money and his parents don't see a fucking dime.

Alexandria the Great, 51, escape artist - Very well done. It will be great to see what she has next.

Sam Johnson, 34, daredevil acrobat - This guy is out of his fucking mind. But he's entertaining as hell. Remember the guy who shot himself out of a cannon into a net? That guy sucked. THIS is a phenomenal danger act. This could be a winner.

Paul Thomas Mitchell, 18, singer - I think this guy might transcend the teenage pretty boy pop type kids that get to the live shows and bow out relatively early from there. He could get to Michael Grimm territory, and we know what happened with him! Talent is there, and I LOVE that he sang his own song.

[Shrykespeare]

Amazing. I was thinking the same thing that Pratt could be Chris Tucker's double. Great minds think alike, I guess.

Only one hour of auditions tonight. Good thing, too, with The Voice ending and SYTYCD getting started ALL TONIGHT, my evening is full.


The Omega Force Strength Team, 34-75 - Feats of strength are impressive, but it loses its steam really fast. Still, we should all be that strong when we're 75! (Poor Nick, he gets roped into some weird shit, doesn't he?) (And I love the fact that the producers used the fight music from The Karate Kid when they got sent through. "You're the best, around...!")

Team Rock, tae kwon do team - We got a lot less of this act, but I was a lot more impressed than the previous act. Don't know if either should make the show, though.

Kyle (?), and Darby (5), gymnasts - Impressive, and she's cute as a button, but she's gotta weigh, what, 30 pounds? Oh well, there's always a few acts that get by on cuteness more than talent. They'd better bring it in Vegas if they want to go to the live shows.

Kenichi Ebina, 38, dancer - Well, we finally got our first solo dancer. I love his moves, but it's so tough for solo dancers to go far on this show. Maybe this guy can make it far, but I'm worried that he's already shown all his best moves. Hope I'm wrong. (Love the Kill Bill music outro!)

Deanna DellaCioppa, 39, singer - She can belt, for sure, but I need to see a lot more than that to be impressed.

Sprice, 19, Rube Goldberg machine artist - Meet The Kinetic King v2.0. It's kooky, but I must say, I was impressed. Three days to set it up? Now, if he could do something on a grandiose scale, we may have something here. Howie's right, though, the kid needs some personality. At least KK had the uber-geek thing going for him.

Rong Niu, 42, balancing act/acrobat - Kudos to her, that was insanely tough. You know the rule... one drop, and you're X'd, and she pulled it off. I still have to wonder where the line is drawn between circus act and Vegas act, though. Still, I LOVE this act. Bravo!


And the pimp spot:

American Military Spouses Choir, 20-56 - Well, once you get past the fact that you can't NOT root for 35 military wives who sing to disabled veterans, they do harmonize very well. I'm not sure they have the talent to win, but this is the kind of act that people love to vote for.

[Geezer]

The Omega Force Strength Team, 34-75 - I kinda agree with Howie that the presentation was off. Impressive, but it could have been much better.

Team Rock, tae kwon do team - Yeah, this was more impressive, hope to see more in Vegas.

Kyle (?), and Darby (5), gymnasts - Yeah I was arguing with the girlfriend and she thinks that she is amazing for a 5 year old and it takes all kinds of body control and what not. I thought it was cute but nothing more.

Kenichi Ebina, 38, dancer - I thought this guy was going to suck. Then he started, and my jaw hit the floor. He was amazing! Only thing that would make it better is if he strapped some wires to himself and made it a light show haha. Phenomenal dancer, and possibly the best solo dance act they have ever had.

Deanna DellaCioppa, 39, singer - You weren't impressed with THAT? Wow. I can't even begin to express how impressive I thought she was. She was FANTASTIC. I hope she goes very very far, and I think she will.

Sprice, 19, Rube Goldberg machine artist - I love these things and I think he is better that the Kinetic King. And i completely agree that it will be awesome to see what he can do on a grander scale. But it could never be a show, because it takes 3 days to set up something that takes 2 minutes to complete, takes up a lot of space and is not portable. Fun to watch, but impractical for the prize of this show. He needs to be a small part of something bigger.

Rong Niu, 42, balancing act/acrobat - I've seen it done as a half time show at sporting events. Incredibly impressive, but unsustainable for an hour. Let's see if she has more tricks up her sleeve.


And the pimp spot:

American Military Spouses Choir, 20-56 - How far they go will depend more on the video packages they put together and story than their talents. That said, they ARE a good choir, I just don't know that a choir is a Vegas act.

[Shrykespeare]

Struck Boys, 8-11, hip-hop dance crew - What is it with kid dance acts that make the adults look like pikers? The potential is there, and I think they could go far as long as they mix it up and not just do the same stuff again.

(unknown), breakdancing crew - Pretty cool... wish I'd seen a little more.

KriStef Brothers, 24 and 26, balancing act - We've seen a lot of acts like this over the years... even at its most extreme, it's just not enough, no matter how physically impressive it is.

HammerStep, dance crew - Irish folk dancing fused with hip-hop? It's different, that's for sure. Don't know how I feel about it yet, and the gas masks made it look creepy.

(unknown), dance duo - Creepy but awesome.

The Rock Dance Project, dance crew - Now ballet fused with contemporary. I'm starting to lose track of all these dance crews already.

Leon Etienne, magician - Great trick, wish the show hadn't rushed through it. Want to see more.

(unknown), child breakdancer - We'll see.

(unknown), dance crew - Very colorful.

Sophia Mejia, ballet dancer - Adorable.

Isaiah and Aaralyn, 9 and 6 - Um. What? The Fuck? Little girl screaming death metal? That's just too weird for me.

Virginia State University Gospel Chorale - Very inspirational. Liked them better than the military wives. Felt like a revival!

Brandon and Savannah, 15 and 13 - Finally, our first half-decent band of the season. She doesn't look 13, and she sure doesn't sound 13. There might be some star power there somewhere. Their original song wasn't bad, either.

Taylor Williamson, comedian - Let's face it... After Tom Cotter, everything's a step down. Wasn't impressed. But maybe because I DO know what a duvet is.

Naathan Phan, magician - As long as he doesn't sing or do the straitjacket thing again, I'm a fan. (Pun intended)


And the pimp spot goes to:

Forte, singing group - Mind.... blown. Holy shit on a popsicle stick. This is my favorite audition so far. I want this group to win. My God, what an amazing surprise. That makes my Top 5 auditions of all time.


Hey Geez... we should do a video countdown of our favorite AGT auditions (or performances) of all time. There's so much to choose from.

[Geezer]

Struck Boys, 8-11, hip-hop dance crew - These kids are going to be such douche bags when they grow up. Well on their way already.

KriStef Brothers, 24 and 26, balancing act - I love it. The thing with the head on head... Damn! You know I love these acts.

HammerStep, dance crew - Incredibly talented, and a nice spin on cloggers. Like to see more.

(unknown), dance duo - very creepy, need more.

The Rock Dance Project, dance crew - so hard to comment on these drive by acts, on the screen then off immediately.

Leon Etienne, magician - Once again, drive by. Doesn't work this fast. Need the suspense. Can't wait for him in Vegas.

Sophia Mejia, ballet dancer - She was on a few episodes of the show Dance Moms, which I am forced to watch against my will. She's a very good dancer.

Isaiah and Aaralyn, 9 and 6 - Everyone at work was buzzing about this act. I hate scream bands, and it doesn't sound any less grating coming from a 6 year old, despite how adorable she is.

Virginia State University Gospel Chorale - So much fun, and the dude can flat out sing. Not sure if a Vegas act, but should take this show on the road for sure.

Brandon and Savannah, 15 and 13 - I'm so with Howard on the original song thing. Songwriting just adds a complete extra element of talent. Girl could be a star for sure. Sounds like something that could be on pop radio tomorrow.

Taylor Williamson, comedian - I will always root on the stand-up acts. I did laugh at some of his jokes, but he has a long, long way to go. "This is just a character, I have sex all the time" in response to Heidi was the funniest thing he said. That cracked me up more than his act. Very quick wit.

Naathan Phan, magician - It will be very interesting to see what he does next, I think everyone has mixed feelings, and I need one more performance. The fact that he pulled the card trick out of his ass on the spot was impressive. Love his personality.


And the pimp spot goes to:

Forte, singing group - There's probably TOO much to choose from as far as our favorites are concerned. It would take hours and hours of time! But consider this among the best ever. Like seeing Jackie Evancho for the first time. They very well might win. Love them.


One last note, I'm out on Heidi as a judge. She offers nothing of substance in her opinions and I just constantly wish she'd just shut up and stop trying.

[Shrykespeare]

Yeah, Heidi's trying too hard. Mel B is doing much better. It helps to have been a performer.


New week:

Kelsey, 17, and Bailey, dog act - Well, after a dog act won it last year, you had to expect at least one dog act this season, right? Honestly, I'm impressed with the level of training it must have taken to get this to this level, but this in itself isn't a Vegas act.

Bruce Crevier, basketball/unicycle act - A good halftime show, but that's it.

Cami (?) Bradley, singer - Good voice, but I need more than eight seconds to be impressed.

(unknown), dance/visual act - A novel concept, dancing with TV screens... but I can't see it going anywhere. There are better visual groups this year.

David Ferman, 19, juggler - Nice to see a juggler really up his game. That trick was damned impressive.

Chicago Boys Acrobatic Team, 9-23, acrobatic act - Great back-story, of course, but we've had flipping acts and jump-rope acts. Still, I was entertained by it. I can't help but wonder if we didn't just see their whole spiel.

2Unique, 10, DJ/rap act - I'm sure there's a niche for this, and people with this talent can always find work. But this isn't the right forum for it.

Innovative Force, dance/acrobatic act - Not bad.

Seanna, 12, singer - Great pipes for a kid. Let's see how she does in the next round.

Bitsy (?) Dancing School, dance act - Very showy. I'll reserve judgment.

Sully Dunn, 18, singer/guitarist - Kid looks like a young Hendrix, plays like Billy Joe Armstrong, and walks the line between discord and true talent. He's the definition of a dark horse. We'll see if he cracks or not.

Brandon James, 34, opera singer - Yikes, we've got a lot of operatic talent this year, don't we? As good as he is, however, I can't imagine anyone in this category being better than Forte. Behind them you've got a race between Brandon, Travis and Jonathan. Of those three, Brandon is the least interesting.

David Finley, 34, singer - You weren't around, Geez, when a guy named Cas Haley, a plump guy with a guitar, walked out and dazzled everyone back in Season 2. He ended up finishing in 2nd to the legendary Terry Fator. I get the same kind of vibe from David, though it's a totally different genre. The singing category is shaping up to be a tough one, but I think he could go far.

Dancin' Dylan Wilson, 17, hip-hop dancer - I love good animators. I see plenty of them on SYTYCD. But I didn't expect a cornfed Midwest boy to be so damn good at it. It'll be interesting to see a dance-off between Dylan and the Japanese guy (though Kenichi would win, I'm sure).

Lil Mike and Funny Bone, 27 and 32, rappers - They may be 4'4", but they're not bad. I'd take them over the Booty guys. (Ducking.)


And the pimp spot goes to:

The American Hitmen, 28-34, rock band - Noooooooow we're talkin. Ex-marines jammin' like Metallica? Tell me you're not behind this group 100%! I can honestly say there's never been a band like THIS on the show. They may not get a Vegas show, but I already hope they get a record deal.


What a great season this is going to be!

[Geezer]

Kelsey, 17, and Bailey, dog act - Cute dog, but Olate Dogs has probably ruined it for all the dog acts from here to eternity. They are going to have to step it up SO MUCH.

Bruce Crevier, basketball/unicycle act - You're probably right, but let's see what they have next. Just a drive by at this point.

Cami (?) Bradley, singer - Drive By, not enough, probably cut in Vegas.

(unknown), dance/visual act - Possibly cool. Much like the artists last year, I wasn't blown away but the potential to get better is there.

David Ferman, 19, juggler - NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! NAILED IT!!! Love this guy. My jaw hit the floor.

Chicago Boys Acrobatic Team, 9-23, acrobatic act - Entertaining, but yeah I think this is all they have to offer, which isn't nearly enough. I think they go to the live shows, but don't advance past one round.

2Unique, 10, DJ/rap act - Vegas won't even accept your bet that these two will end up teen pregnant. It is that much of a sure thing. This shouldn't be promoted. It is trash.

Innovative Force, dance/acrobatic act - Drive By, but the two tricks we saw were great.

Seanna, 12, singer - She can sing. Liked her a lot.

Bitsy (?) Dancing School, dance act - Cool, want to see more. For a dance group, they were impressive. They'll make the live shows.

Sully Dunn, 18, singer/guitarist - I think you nailed the description. I don't think this is the forum, but he is talented. I think he's got to hone it in, even he doesn't know where he's going. If he can calm the nerves, and find a band, he can find his niche.

Brandon James, 34, opera singer - Yeah, of the opera talents, I was easily least blown away by him. He will likely be cut in Vegas.

David Fenley, 34, singer - Rich, soulful voice, I loved it. I usually get bored with singers, this guy blew me away. Big fan. He has a star's voice.

Dancin' Dylan Wilson, 17, hip-hop dancer - Love the kid, love the personality, and love the Japanese guy better. Is there room for both?

Lil Mike and Funny Bone, 27 and 32, rappers - They are entertaining. Not bad. Good personality.


And the pimp spot goes to:

The American Hitmen, 28-34, rock band - I wasn't impressed to be honest. For a band to impress me, they have to be original. There was nothing (outside of the backstory) that makes this group anything different than any band in any bar in any town in America on a Friday night.

[Shrykespeare]

That's twice in a row that you've commented on last week's episode mere minutes before I started watching this week's.

[Geezer]

Yeah, we're kinda staying a week behind. Better to get to fast forward commercials and lots of other shows to catch up on.

[Shrykespeare]

Olivia Rox, 14, singer/guitarist - Wow. This girl is the whole package. Tons of potential. She will go far. Best female singer of the season so far.

Tummy Talk, 26-31, percussion group - No. Just.... no. They should get cut before they even go to Vegas.


Drive-bys:

Fresh Faces, dance group - Not bad, but nothing special.
Jim Eskiman, impressionist - Loved him. Want to hear more.
?, break dancer/sword swallower - Interesting mixture of talents. Don't know if I like it yet.


Aerial Ice (I think), aerial/dance act - Pretty cool. Well coordinated. Wish I'd seen more of it.

Sensation, visual/dance group - Well, we got this season's Fighting Gravity/team iLuminate. I loved it. This is exactly what belongs on a Vegas stage. I hope they can up their game, because this is an act that can go far. Knowing my luck, they'll come in third, like FG and TI. Boo, Heidi!

Yasha 9, and Daniela, 8, dancers - More ballroom kids. They're coming out of the woodwork. We'll see who comes out of Vegas, because they can't ALL go through to the live shows.

Jimmy Rose, 32, country singer - And now, this season's Kevin Skinner. Let's see... ex-soldier, coal miner, salt of the earth, great voice, writes his own songs. Yup, he could win.

Chloe Chanel, 11, singer - So if she wins the big bucks, she'll shoot some big bucks. Ha. Great voice, but unlike some of her competitors, she still sounds like she has a child's voice. Plus, she needs to work on her stage presence. I don't see her going the distance.

(Random thought: I miss Dittleman. Wonder what he's up to.)

212 Green, 14-22, band - I'm intrigued. The girls are hot as hell, and there's kind of a retro feel to them. I hated the rap part, though.

(Random thought #2: Wonder how Poplyfe is doing. Actually, I know... they're touring with Zendaya. Good for them.)


More tomorrow. One more audition show to go.

[Shrykespeare]

Okay, last night of auditions.


Mestizo Ballet Folklorico, dance trio - A bunch of kids, including a toddler, dancing with knives? I don't care how blunt they are, or how cute they are, this act is C-level at best. No way they make it past Vegas.


Drive-bys:

Aquanauts, synchronized swimming troupe - come on, this barely qualifies as an Olympic sport. Not a Vegas act. The time of Esther Williams is long gone.

Kevin Downey Jr., comedian - One joke, wasn't that funny. Pass.

Javi (?) and Antonio, aerialists - Impressive athletically, but the gay awkwardness turns it off for me.



Timber Brown, 28, acrobat - We've seen pole acts before, and I'll just say it: one guy by himself is a tough sell. Hard not to like the guy, though.

Skilyr Hicks, 14, singer/guitarist - Pretty, pretty girl, and with a voice to match. I know her inspiration comes from a sad place, but she needs to exude a little joy for me to really get behind her. And again, cool that she writes her own stuff. The teen girl singer-guitarist group is getting tougher and tougher. I count five girls already this year with great voices, all between 10 and 14. And that's not including the bands.

Milton Patton, 21, country singer - The third unassuming everyman to come on with a great country voice. Unlike Marty and Jimmy, though, I think his voice would be the easiest to cross over into other genres. I like him.



Thank God they didn't put the old lady through. I had Big Barry flashbacks all through the audition.


I'll recap the auditions in the next post.