America's Got Talent Thread (pres. by Shryke and Geezer)

[Geezer]

I literally applauded when Howard picked David. I was so freaking happy. I was shocked, because he gave them so much criticism, but thrilled. So glad to see Light Wire go.

I'm happy for The Untouchables, because I never really liked Tim Hockenberry and a singer CAN'T POSSIBLY WIN!!!!! It's awesome. No idea who wins, but here is how I'd rank them:

Tom Cotter
Joe Castillo
Daid Garibaldi and his CMYK's
Olate Dogs
William Close
The Untouchables

I wish that Dittleman could have somehow been a part of this group instead of The Untouchables, but I'll take it!

[Shrykespeare]

At last, the Finals!


David Garibaldi and his CMYKs - What a way to go out. A picture of Einstein, Who music, and each of the CMYKs got to do their own letter. I don't think they'll win, but they have accorded themselves like pros. I hope that someone somewhere gives them their own show. They've earned it.


Tom Cotter - I'm glad that Tom did basically the same thing as before, leaving his set material up to a roll of the dice. This set wasn't QUITE as funny as the last one, but it was still good. If anything, it drives home once again that he is a bottomless well of funny stuff. If he doesn't at least get his own Comedy Central special out of this, I will be very upset.


The Untouchables - I liked their routine, high-energy as usual, although I think I liked their tango better. They let their little star go front and center, which may help or hurt them. You got to love the effort they've given, but I think they don't have much chance of winning.


Joe Castillo - He is phenomenal, and deserves a stage, but did he really have to go out by doing the AGT judges? And I'm not sure about the musical accompaniment, it felt unnecessary to me. Probably his weakest outing so far. I didn't think he had much of a chance to win before, but now I'm sure.


William Close - Geez, I know you prefer William perform without the singers, but face it, he can't give a completely instrumental performance, it would seem lacking. He added some more instruments and theatrics, and I genuinely believe he could and should win.

Olate Dogs - What more can be said? They are the best-trained, the best-behaved dogs I've ever seen. Can they stretch this act into an hour, though?

It's a tough call. The last two years I was sure Fighting Gravity and Team iLuminate would win, only to have them come in third. This year, I don't think I want to make a prediction.

David was brilliant, but may be hampered by going first. Tom, The Untouchables and Joe were very good but have all been better.

So that means it is between Williams and the Dogs. They are the only ones who have knocked it out of the park every single time. I will lean toward William because it has more spectacle.

And I just remember... on the very first night of televised auditions, the very first auditionee to walk on stage and perform... was William Close. How ironic if he ended up winning.

[Geezer]

I loved all of the acts, as usual for a finals. I like Tom Cotter the best and hope he wins, but my money is on the Dogs. William Close just doesn't really do it for me. I don't think it translates well to television. Or maybe I just think it got old. Like you said David has been better in the past, ditto Untouchables. I think Joe did well in doing the judges. I don't think we can really fathom how difficult it must be to draw specific people using only sand. He is incredible and I would love it if he won, but I doubt it happens. Still crossing my fingers for Tom.

[Shrykespeare]

I can't believe it! The winner of America's Got Talent, Season Seven, is:

OLATE DOGS!!!

Here is the performance that won them the show:




Here is how the acts finished in the voting:

6. The Untouchables
5. Joe Castillo
4. David Garibaldi and his CMYK's
3. William Close
2. Tom Cotter
1. Olate Dogs


Wow, Geez, I can't imagine this result could have gone any better for you. I really, truly thought that William was going to win, and this now makes THREE STRAIGHT YEARS that the act I thought would win ends up coming in third (Fighting Gravity two years ago, Team iLuminate last year).

So happy for Tom Cotter. You just know this will help his career tremendously. If you ever get wind of him having a comedy show on TV, don't keep it to yourself, okay?

Great year. Howard had a great first season, Sharon had a great final season, and we ended up one-upping Britain's Got Talent with a dog act that could kick their asses.

So that's it until next season. It's been awesome.

[Geezer]

Yeah it went pretty much as I expected it to. Only would have flipped Jo and David. I'm actually kinda happy Tom didn't win, because he doesn't need to be stuck in Vegas. Let him go on the road so I can actually go see him! Well deserved to Olate Dogs. They are awesome. I still don't know how they teach all those dogs so many impressive tricks. Crazy.

[W]

I guess that's the guy coming to my kid's school.

[Shrykespeare]

Ah, okay, I didn't remember him before. I do now. He's good, your kid will like him.

[W]

She earned enough stuff to sit in the front row, so she's pretty excited and talks about it all the time. He also gives a presentation on bullying and bike safety I guess.

[Geezer]

Shryke do you watch X Factor at all? I never did before but my gf had me watching the first episode and the girl that went on last was so good I literally got chills, rewound the entire segment and watched her again, and I'm basically watching the whole season now hoping she wins.

[Shrykespeare]

You're talking about the 13-year-old, right? Yeah, I saw her. She was phenomenal.

I watched all of last season, and as soon as I saw Melanie Amaro's audition, I knew she would win. And she did. I'm not ready to bet the farm on this girl, but she'll be contender, that's for sure.

What was her name? Carly Rose Sonenclar?

[Geezer]

Actually I'm talking about Jillian Jensen. Here's the segment

[Shrykespeare]

Yeah, she was awesome too. That moment between her and Demi was great.

[Shrykespeare]

Time for Season 8, Geez!

Having watched the first few auditions, I'm happy enough so far with Heidi Klum and Mel B as judges. They're a lot more sensible and eloquent than Sharon was, but a little more personality would be nice. I also don't like how they jumped from one audition city to the next, which I assume they're going to be doing for the next few weeks. Why not just show one city per night?


We started off with some interesting acts, to be sure. Here are my thoughts on those that were put through, that got the full six-minute screen time.

David "The Cobra Kid" Weathers, 37, snake handler - Not bad. The guy is batshit crazy to be doing this, but that's part of the fun. Will be interesting to see what else he can do.

Marty Brown, 47, singer - Well, we found this season's Kevin Skinner REAL early, didn't we? Great guy, a simple guy, loving husband, and a surprisingly great country voice. What's not to love?

Catapult, silhouette dance troupe - Yeah, okay, it's a lot like The Silhouettes, which I know you loved. But they seem to have taken it up one level higher. I have to say, i was impressed. They could easily be Top 10.

Hype, dance trio - An interesting blend of classic and modern. I like them, but they'll probably be out early.

Anna Christine, 10, singer - She must have gone through puberty early, because she's got a surprisingly deep and mature voice for someone so young. When she talks, she sounds 15, and when she sings, she sounds 21. She's not on Jackie's level (but then, nobody is), but she's definitely one to watch. She plays a mean piano, too!

3Penny Chorus and Orchestra, 20-86 - Well, now I can say I've heard Carly Ray Jepsen performed by a 40-strong orchestra. Now I can die, I guess. Novel, but that's about it. The brass band guys from last year had more flair.

Pacific Boys Choir, 9-14 - Meh.

Special Head, 28, street performer - The whole "Indian mysticism" thing got annoying early, but that levitation trick was pretty damn cool. I just hope he knocks off the damn chanting next time.

Angela Hoover, 42, comedienne - not bad, but not that great either. Melissa (Melinda?) from last year (two years ago?) was better. Her Penelope Cruz was spot-on, though.

Tone the Chiefrocca, 27 - Well, we found this season's Sam B. Only ten times more annoying.



There were a few others that we didn't see but for a moment, which means they're too blah to worry about anyway. I do wish I could have seen more of the behind-the-screen comedian, though.

[Geezer]

David "The Cobra Kid" Weathers, 37, snake handler - Very exciting, but not something I haven't seen before, and not a million dollar trick. Will be interesting to see how he steps it up.

Marty Brown, 47, singer - Damn good. Very surprising and memorable.

Catapult, silhouette dance troupe - I have to say, upon first viewing, I don't like it as much as the Silhouettes. Where the Silhouettes had a clearly defined routine, that was always simple and powerful, this seemed like they were trying to do far too much at once and was too frenetic. I hope they have better routines saved for the live shows, because I'm not sold. I just think the actual Silhouettes were more talented and everything they did was seamless.

Hype, dance trio -They did good, reminded me a bit of the Scott Brothers from last season. Will be interesting to see what else they put together.

The guy who ate the eggs and then did the tequila and the pepper and ice should have gone through!!! That was fantastic! Think about the sacrifice! I want to know what this idiot does next!

Anna Christine, 10, singer - Couldn't have said it better. Insanely developed and mature voice for a 10 year old. No idea how that sound is coming from her. She was fantastic.

3Penny Chorus and Orchestra, 20-86 - I'm not going to lie, they did it for me. I like it. Funny, talented, and they get it. Orchestral music is boring, and they made it fun, not easy to do. It's not a million dollar act, but they DO have an audience. If they went on tour they would sell out shows.

Pacific Boys Choir, 9-14 - I think I like the song itself more than I like the performance, but I'll give them a chance.

Special Head, 28, street performer - Maybe he has to do the chanting to actually perform the trick, because, and I may sound stupid for saying it, but that didn't look like a trick or illusion. It looked real. It was awesome. Maybe he just has actual magical spiritual powers and the chanting is how he channels whatever being is being used to perform that. Damn, I can't wait for what comes next.

Angela Hoover, 42, comedienne -Agreed, she's a good impressionist, but I've seen enough impressions. Write jokes people! Look what it did for Tom Cotter!

Tone the Chiefrocca, 27 - Shryke, this is THE BEST ACT I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW!!! OH MY GOD!!! I FELL OFF MY COUCH LAUGHING. LITERALLY!!!!
My stomach hurts. I'm in tears. I want this act to WIN THE COMPETITION. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on television. I do not remember the last time I laughed this hard. When he said my dream is to be A ONE HIT WONDER! I FUCKING LOST IT!!! This couldn't be greater. And the judges are right, he needs to do THE SAME THING every time. GAME OVER!

[Shrykespeare]

Tone the Chiefrocca, 27 - Shryke, this is THE BEST ACT I HAVE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW!!! OH MY GOD!!! I FELL OFF MY COUCH LAUGHING. LITERALLY!!!!
My stomach hurts. I'm in tears. I want this act to WIN THE COMPETITION. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on television. I do not remember the last time I laughed this hard. When he said my dream is to be A ONE HIT WONDER! I FUCKING LOST IT!!! This couldn't be greater. And the judges are right, he needs to do THE SAME THING every time. GAME OVER!

The best act EVER!? That's just... nuts. The song was repetitive, and the beat was a mixture of "Baby Got Back" and "Whoomp! There is Is".

Besides, if their goal is to be a one-hit wonder, what are they going to do next? They can't just perform the same song over and over again, despite what Howie said. It's certainly not a Vegas show.