2018-19 Full Year Slates (Division B)

[Buscemi2]

Lotta game left to play. Call me The Constipator!

--Nico.

I might need to lead you into the Texas Book Suppository.

[NicodemustheSage]

I hear there are a lot of bound volumes there.

--Nico.

[NicodemustheSage]

Shrykester, have you seen this?

https://deadline.com/2018/12/netflix-bu ... 202519124/

--Nico.

[Shrykespeare]

Look out, here comes Banks. And Nico.

STANDINGS (WEEK 33/52)

1. UDM - $1,209,497,420 (7 films - Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, The Favourite, Mary Queen of Scots, Ben is Back, Mortal Engines; 4 finished)
2. Shryke - $795,252,765 (2 films - The House with a Clock in its Walls, Beautiful Boy; 7 finished)
3. W - $782,943,595 (4 films - Smallfoot, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, Overlord, Instant Family; 5 finished)
4. Nicodemus - $678,422,197 (6 films - Halloween, Indivisible, Bohemian Rhapsody, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald, The Possession of Hannah Grace, The Mule; 8 finished)
5. Brockster - $643,273,662 (2 films - The Girl in the Spider's Web, Once Upon a Deadpool; 8 finished)
6. weissac - $640,146,433 (1 film - Robin Hood; 6 finished)
7. transformers - $632,733,750 (4 films - Night School, The Hate U Give, First Man, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch; 5 finished)
8. Ron B - $596,967,034 (7 films - The Old Man and the Gun, Venom, Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween, Nobody's Fool, Boy Erased, Widows, Ralph Breaks the Internet; 3 finished)
9. Banks - $567,021,950 (6 films - The Sisters Brothers, Suspiria, Green Book, Creed 2, Vox Lux, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; 5 finished)
10. Surfer - $214,029,340 (2 films - The Front Runner, If Beale Street Could Talk; 4 finished)



The following films would appear to be done:

The Incredibles 2 (UDM, 1st round) = $608,581,744





12/21:
Mary Poppins Returns (Banks, 1st round)
Aquaman (Nicodemus, 2nd round)
Bumblebee (Shryke, 4th round)
Welcome to Marwen (Banks, 9th round)
Second Act (Banks, 10th round)



12/28:
Holmes & Watson (Brockster, 3rd round)
Vice (Brockster, 8th round)
On the Basis of Sex (UDM, 9th round)
Destroyer (W, 15th round)
Stan & Ollie (UDM, WW)



1/4:
Escape Room (transformers, WW)



1/11:
A Dog's Way Home (transformers, 8th round)
Replicas (Brockster, 11th round)
The Upside (Banks, WW)

[NicodemustheSage]

This tortoise is starting to smell hare on fire. You're not done yet, either, Shrykester. Brockster, weissac, trans, Ron B, and Surfer all have ample gas left in the tank, too. But, yeah, I knew Banks was going to have a decent second half of the League year.

I'm starting to think I might just end up in the top half of Div B, however, which pleases me. I need the first 3 1/2 days of "Endgame" to freaking KILL IT to fantasize seriously about a finale much more interesting than that, tho.

--Nico.

[Buscemi2]

Good luck, Marge.

[transformers2]

This tortoise is starting to smell hare on fire. You're not done yet, either, Shrykester. Brockster, weissac, trans, Ron B, and Surfer all have ample gas left in the tank

Oh Nico, you kind, humble liar. I've been stranded on the side of the highway since mid-July.

[NicodemustheSage]

Well, tranny, I can bullshit with the best of them -- I work in that medium as some artists do in oils or clay or music -- but I rarely, when you come right down to it, lie. I tend to tell it straight, or as straight as I can see the lie. And I'm by no means humble, only conservative -- I'm one obnoxious S.O.B. when I feel it's warranted. (Look out, y'all, if I actually win this Division, this year. ) I do try to be kind when I can, though. Mostly, however, I tend to be frank. So here's my straightforward assessment of your slate:

For certain you've had a string of mediocre earners: "Uncle Drew", "The First Purge", and "Skyscraper" all LOOKED, at one time or other, like they might have gone higher. "Night School", "The Hate U Give", and, for my money, "A Simple Favor" overindexed, but not enough to really fill your coffers, and "Unfriended: Dark Web" and "First Man" shit the bed.

On the other claw, "The Grinch" was a solid pick, and is still doing pretty well for you, "The LEGO Movie" could do $200M, and "A Dog's Way Home" might break well as a family-friendly mid-range film. The rest of your slate is dogshit, but, that's what happens in the later rounds. You still have a good $250M to go, I'd say, at minimum, and are unlikely to drop much further in the League-end standings. The balls roll funny for everyone, kid. (Name that film!)

--Nico.

[Shrykespeare]

The balls roll funny for everyone, kid. (Name that film!)

--Nico.

Jackass? Idiocracy?


(JK. I know what it is.)




So... I have a $118M lead on you, Nico. You have Aquaman warming up in the tank (see what I did there?) while I have Bumblebee building buzz.

We may be in a dead heat in a few weeks...

[transformers2]

Well, tranny, I can bullshit with the best of them -- I work in that medium as some artists do in oils or clay or music -- but I rarely, when you come right down to it, lie. I tend to tell it straight, or as straight as I can see the lie. And I'm by no means humble, only conservative -- I'm one obnoxious S.O.B. when I feel it's warranted. (Look out, y'all, if I actually win this Division, this year. ) I do try to be kind when I can, though. Mostly, however, I tend to be frank. So here's my straightforward assessment of your slate:

For certain you've had a string of mediocre earners: "Uncle Drew", "The First Purge", and "Skyscraper" all LOOKED, at one time or other, like they might have gone higher. "Night School", "The Hate U Give", and, for my money, "A Simple Favor" overindexed, but not enough to really fill your coffers, and "Unfriended: Dark Web" and "First Man" shit the bed.

On the other claw, "The Grinch" was a solid pick, and is still doing pretty well for you, "The LEGO Movie" could do $200M, and "A Dog's Way Home" might break well as a family-friendly mid-range film. The rest of your slate is dogshit, but, that's what happens in the later rounds. You still have a good $250M to go, I'd say, at minimum, and are unlikely to drop much further in the League-end standings. The balls roll funny for everyone, kid. (Name that film!)

--Nico.

While The Lego Movie could very well do $200 mil, I'm still on a 1-way trip to the basement this year. Skyscraper and First Man singlehandedly sunk my slate. Having my 3rd and 4th round picks combine to make less than $120 mil is the kind of misstep you just can't recover from. At least I'm headed for a high draft pick in a year where I'll have to try real hard to pick a dud in the 1st round

[Shrykespeare]

I'll have to try real hard to pick a dud in the 1st round

There's always one. Looking at you, Solo...

[NicodemustheSage]

I mean, I get it, transom ("tranny" needed updating). Look at my slate -- EVERYTHING south of my fifth pick, with the POSSIBLE exception of "The Mule" (one of my fliers, remember -- it was in mid-production at the time, had NO release date or even year, and I single-handedly caused that whole early-May "Can you even DRAFT an unspecified schedule placeholder with no title or information of ANY kind?" kerfuffle), thus far, has been a disappointment, and my top pick, "The Crimes of Grindlewald", ain't fantastic... Matter of fact, it's going to shallow my most conservative estimates by a good $70M, I think. Now, beginning at #2, I inaugurated a quartet of decent -- NOT spectacular, not unless "Aquaman" does "Guardians if the Galaxy"-style box office, which it won't -- earners: "Aguaman" (that REALLY ought to be its Spanish-language-market title), "Halloween" (another gamble -- remember, for a good long while, there, "The Predator" was deemed a far safer investment, especially so high; the Carpenter brand was considered stale, and the film, an unnecessary retread), followed by, of course, my infamous, draft-defining, RIDICULOUS (INSANE! SENILE! )* pitch in the top of the fourth, "Avengers: Endgame" (a film that is PROBABLY guaranteed to bring in at least $175M over its first three days and a night, but which, if the rumored 160-minute runtime depresses initial per-theater screenings, could keep its value to me in the mid-$200Ms, far lower than the $300M I had been counting on), and, finally, "Bohemian Rhapsody" (yet another roll of the dice: A troubled production, a fired and disgraced director, an unproven lead, a questionable narrative). With my sixth pick, I commenced a series of underwhelmers and blunders: "Tag" (a film I had pegged for $75M-$95M); "Hereditary" (I thought it might give "A Quiet Place" a run for Breakout Horror Sleeper of the Year... $60M at least, maybe $90M+ if I got lucky); "Superfly" (the less said, the better); and then a bevy of bullshit that I mostly dropped like a pile of hot Uncle Owen brand charcoal briquettes: "The Hustle", "Kin", "Escape Room", and "Assassination Nation", punctuated by "The Mule". My WW replacements weren't much of an improvement, either, except for "The Possession of Hannah Grace", which won't make me Scrooge McDuck, either. Sure, "Sanju" did okay for a fifteenth-round burner, but I've had my share of dogs, too. Good thing I have that 9th-inning, third-at-bat, last-pitch ace up my sleeve to boost my numbers at the end, or I'd be competing for fifth or sixth in Div B, I suspect.

My point is this: Don't beat yourself up too bad. I haven't played in this League before, but one thing I figured out before I began drafting six and a half months ago: You cannot rely on the ONE BIG TITLE alone. Sure, there are going to be years with a "Jurassic World", a "Star Wars: The Force Awakens", an "Avatar", but you have to make your picks like Billy Beane, not Brian Cashman (a more perfect name has never been paired with a human, except for the urologist in Austin named Richard Chopp). "IF WE TRY TO PLAY LIKE THE YANKEES IN HERE, WE WILL LOSE TO THE YANKEES OUT THERE" is a quote from "Moneyball" I taped to the inside wall of my head in early May. I went looking for value where others weren't... And found it. That's all.

It could easily have gone very differently, too, so I shan't be resting on any laurels next Spring, either. Every year, you're pitching in a different league. This year I tossed some screwballs. Next year, I might be lobbing sinkers in the dirt.

* Sorry, Herald, but I did hold my tongue a good long while. You keep calling balls and strikes like you see 'em, man. Love ya!

--Nico.

[NicodemustheSage]

As for you, ace pilot Ted Shryker ("Shrykey-pooh" needed modernizing, too ), I agree: At the end of this year, we'll be rubbin' more'n we're racin'. Again, glad I have "Watch Tony Stark Die of Hypoxia, Thirst, and Longing for That Crazy Chick Who Owns Goop" to counter YOUR late-hour pinch-hitters, "Captive State" and"Pet Sematary", which I think could EASILY combine for $200M+ as your slate pulls hard g's coming out of the final turn before the checkered flag drops. One of us may be drinking cold milk before this race is in the books, pal. I'll see you on the other side, Ray.

--Nico.

[Buscemi2]

Aquaman's reviews haven't been as good as Guardians of the Galaxy (though its near $3 million gross in previews suggests it will be another critic-proof film for the DCEU). Also, Guardians of the Galaxy came out during a wasteland and doing such enabled it to stick around.

Speaking of reviews, funny that Mary Poppins Returns and Vice are being called Best Picture contenders but both have a lower Metacritic score than Bumblebee (which at best will likely get only a Best Visual Effects nomination).

As for Avengers: Samuel Beckett Style, I'm sure it will be shorter. Age of Ultron was supposed to be nearly three hours but Whedon decided to whittle it down to get more showings.

[NicodemustheSage]

Yeah, like I said, I don't expect "Not Namor" to overindex to that degree. I am pretty comfortable predicting high-$100s-to-mid-$200s at this point, but it WON'T be the next "Wonder Woman", never mind, "Black Panther". I would LOVE to be wrong. But as "Bumblebee" -- a film I frankly had dismissed as the next "Solo" -- rises, I think "Khal Drowno" may well dive.

To your other point: Politics, man. Sequels rarely get respect, and The Acadummy is far too kewl, unimpressable, and progressive to seriously consider honoring anything as masculine, conventional, and patriotism-steeped as a Jerry Bruckheimer production or descendant. That rah-rah shit is for flyover country, man, along with non-franchise films starring Chris Pratt and anything with Jon Voight.

--Nico.